“You wouldn’t be you, then, Captain. You’re a good man, and part of that comes from being raised by good people.”
“Am I good, though? Maybe I’ve got some of Gavin in me. I hurt you,” he said hoarsely. “I worry about hurting you again. I mean, I fucking coerced you into getting me a meeting with your dad. You were dealing with anxiety and Amanda, and I piled more on by forcing that situation.”
“You didn’t force anything,” I promised. “Also, I’m sorry you haven’t had that meeting yet.”
“That’s not the point.” Callan waved a hand. “I couldn’t give a fuck about that. I care about the way I treat you. I never want to be the man who hurts you. And I hurt you. Several times.”
“I hurt you first. Didn’t I? In high school?”
“We were kids.”
“Callan …”
“Aye,” he agreed impatiently. “You hurt me.”
“I’m sorry.” I leaned in and brushed a kiss across his jaw. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“No.” I turned his face gently. Staring into his eyes, I promised, “It hurt me too. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t a big deal because we were just kids and I didn’t want to cause issues with my parents and with Amanda … but it was a big deal to me, Callan. I did a really good job of pretending it wasn’t, but I missed you so much. Why do you think I went out with stupid Ryan Preston?”
He curled his lip. “Why did you?”
“Because at the time, I was angry that I’d given up the person I wanted to be with and thought if I couldn’t have you, it didn’t matter who I went out with.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. But I quickly realized that dating no one would’ve been better than going out with Ryan.”
Callan smirked at that. “Aye, you’re no’ joking.”
“When I saw you carrying that god-awful sofa upstairs with the lads that morning, I was both excited to see you after all this time and terrified that I’d start crushing on you all over again. It seemed easier that you wanted not one thing to do with me.”
He studied me, eyes searching as I continued to confess, “I was jealous of the girls you brought home. I couldn’t admit it to myself.”
“I’d never know it by the way you befriended every single one of them,” he teased.
“Well, it wasn’t their fault you wanted them and not me.”
“I wanted you. I have never in my life not wanted you. I can’t even remember them. I know that makes me an utter arsehole, but the truth is, you were the first and only girl who ever got in there.”
Pleasure curled in my belly as I placed my palm over his heart. “In here?”
Callan nodded.
“Do you forgive me?” I asked suddenly.
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Do you forgive me?”
“From the moment I saw you sitting on my doorstep.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, placing a soothing hand on his knee as I stared at my room. “Do you trust me? Do you trust me to put you first now?”
He didn’t hesitate. “I do.”
“Good. Because … you’re my best friend.”
I felt his lips gentle on the top of my head. “You’re mine too,” he promised gruffly. “Though don’t tell Baird that.”
I laughed softly. “I’m so glad we found each other again … but there’s a part of me that resents the years we missed. I would’veloved to bring you back here then. Give you me, give you this family.”
