That was not something I’d ever seen coming.
In a way, it was kind of all right, though, sharing that experience with my best mate.
Lewis pulled off his helmet and then reached into the saddle compartment and lifted out a cardboard box. “Lunch from Flora’s,” he announced. “Cakes from Callie.”
My stomach grumbled at the thought. I rarely had treats because I believed my body was like a car and it needed the correct fuel to work. Even as exhausted as I was by broken sleep, I still worked out. I had a home gym in my third bedroom, and I’d set Millie up in her bouncy chair as she watched on curiously while I exercised. Sometimes she’d get agitated and bored so I’d have to stop and start, but I was determined not to lose that part of my routine. And treats … they were something I only indulged in now and then.
“I shouldn’t,” I replied. “But I’m going to.” Callie’s desserts were to die for.
Lewis grinned, bounding up the steps and into the office pod. He looked around. The desk sat under the large picture window. There were a few shelves. Tons of plugs for electricals, USB ports, and a leather sofa on the back wall with a coffee table. “Hey, this is pretty decent.”
“Aye, it’s good, eh.” I reached for the food. “I’m fucking starving.”
We settled on the couch with the generous sandwiches and soup. Lewis had even brought coffee from Flora’s.
Swallowing a bite of his chicken club, Lewis asked, “What did you want to talk about?”
Even though I knew from our previous conversation that Lewis would be cool, I still felt a surge of nerves. I met his questioning gaze. “I want to be with Eilidh.”
Lewis raised an eyebrow and then sank back against the sofa, food forgotten. “Have you told Eilidh this?”
I nodded.
“And?”
“It didn’t go down very well.”
“Maybe because the timing is suspicious.” Lewis took another bite with a casual shrug. Okay, I knew he’d be cool, but he was being very blasé about the whole thing. Too blasé. I waited for him to continue. He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Millie comes along, your life totally changes, and Eilidh has stepped up to support you the most. Now you want to be with her? I could see how she might not believe you wantedherbut a live-in nanny.”
I scowled. “That’s exactly what she fucking said and it pissed me off then too.”
Her brother smirked. “Like I said, your timing is shit.”
“You don’t actually believe that’s what I think?”
“No. Look, I’ve known you forever and you don’t latch on to people for the wrong reasons.” His expression turned wry. “Plus apparently, I’ve been in denial about you and Eilidh for a long time. Just ask Callie.”
“How so?”
“Callie says she’s known how you felt about Eilidh since our wedding. She suspected before then, but she knew it for certain that night.”
“Did she see us kiss?”
He choked on a swig of coffee, his eyes flashing. “You kissed my sister at my wedding?”
Well, fuck.
“It … it just … aye.” I threw my hands up. “I kissed Eilidh at your wedding. And I kissed her months before that in London. Apparently, you were not alone in your denial!” I stood up, agitated as I began to pace. “Of course, it looks dodgy as fuck now that I can admit I want her. But I’ve wanted her for a long time … Definitely since you came home to Ardnoch and she and I started talking again. If I’m honest with myself, maybe even before then. I just didn’t think I could have her. That I deserved someone like Eilidh. That I could keep someone like Eilidh interested.” There. I admitted it. Beneath the confidence I’d shrugged on like armor as a teen, I still felt like that geeky wee kid whose mother abandoned him.
“I can’t believe you kissed my wee sister at my wedding,” Lewis grumbled.
“Oh, would you get over it?” I ran a hand through my hair with an exasperated sigh. If I had my way, I’d be doing far worse than kissing her. Filthy, dirty, grown-up things that would make my best friend’s head explode.
Lewis aggressively bit off another piece of sandwich, eyeing me as if he wished he were taking a lump out of me.
Sitting back down, I turned to him. “You know you’re my family. That’s why I want to be straight with you about this. I intend to pursue Eilidh. Romantically.”
“And if I say I’m not actually comfortable anymore with the thought of you and Eilidh together?”
