Suddenly, I was everywhere.
I couldn’t go into my favorite coffee place around the corner from my London flat without people recognizing me. A lot of people called me Mikayla, as if I were the character from the show.
I could not be more opposite. Mikayla was abandoned, broken, an addict. She had a good heart, but she was so desperate to feel loved and special, she trampled over people’s feelings. The last season had ended with her cheating on Jasper’s character with a fellow artist she’d befriended. A guy who had made it his life’s mission to get Mikayla sober. I knew the writers well enough to know that was not going to go smoothly in season three.
I’d need to gird myself for how the audience would react to the next round of chaos Mikayla incited. Problem was, I wasn’t sure I could brace myself for any more of this.
Tired, so tired, and needing something to boost my energy, I stepped into my trailer with thoughts of a power nap. The trailer was about twenty years old, in need of an update, but I didn’t care. The bed in the back was comfy.
Then my phone buzzed in my pocket.
Sighing, I took it out and slumped onto the end of the bed. I had a Google Alert set for myself and members of my family.
I tapped on the notification and my stomach plummeted.
FANS OUTRAGED AT ACTOR EILIDH ADAIR
“What the fuck?” I muttered, my stomach turning, my cheeks hot as I scrolled through the article. “Oh my God.” I tapped on a social media icon and started scrolling through the comments on my last post.
I’d shared a photo from our night out last week. The cast of the movie had been invited to attend a charity benefit hosted by a politician. It was a children’s charity that provided water, food, and emergency response to children in many countries across the globe, including a country caught up in an international political crisis. I was a villain for giving my support to the charity because they were providing aid to innocentchildrenfrom a country whose government was the problem.
The comments were disgusting.
I’d betrayed them. I was fucking stupid. Ignorant. They were done with me. They wished I’d rot in hell. They were canceling their subscription to the streaming service in protest to my affiliation. Calling for the streaming service to drop me. I was a talentless hack, anyway. My uncles had gotten my foot in the door. I didn’t deserve my success.
On and on.
Hundreds upon hundreds of nasty comments.
Fingers shaking, I tapped on Jasper’s profile. He hadn’t shared a photo from the benefit, but he’d been there too and was in my photos. No one had commented on his Instagram, though.
My phone rang in my hand. It was my publicist. I stared at the screen in shock, so overwhelmed I wanted the world tobloody disappear. The ringing stopped and then started again. My agent. The room spun. I couldn’t breathe. I ducked my head between my legs, sobbing between trying to catch my breath.
“Fuck, shit, fuck.” Jasper was there, his hands on my face, his thumbs wiping away tears. “Danny just called. Everyone’s talking about it on set. Are you okay?”
“I … it was only a photo,” I whispered numbly.
“I know, I know. Look, call Greta back.” Jasper tapped my phone. “She’ll help take care of this. It’ll all blow over.”
Numbly, I hit the Call button.
“Oh, thank God.” Greta’s familiar posh accent filled my ear. “Right, my darling. First thing you’re going to do is delete that photo. We’ve already put together an apology statement for you to share. We’ve emailed it over. Take a look. If there’s anything you want to tweak, let me know.”
“Apology?” I croaked out. “Apology for what? I supported a charity that provides aid to children.”
“I know, darling. The world’s gone crazy. But best to just say you’re sorry and they’ll forget about it within a week.”
“And if I don’t?”
There was a moment of silence. “Danny’s already had a conversation with the PR team on the show, and they feel this is what’s best for everyone.”
“Will they fire me if I don’t apologize?” At that moment, I hoped she’d say yes.
Because I couldn’t take this.
This hate and vitriol. Living online in a world where you had to choose sides, where you weren’t allowed to see both sides of an argument, where nuance had died several years ago, and we were all treating each other like we were the worst dregs of society if we showed even an ounce of common sense during a discussion.
There were hundreds and hundreds of vile comments on my social media.
