“But you did.” Lewis glowered at me. “And this is why I never wanted you two to get close. Because I know how fucked up you are about women.”
I flinched. “I never intended to hurt her. Lewis, I’d protect Eilidh with my life and you know it.”
“It doesn’t feel that way right now.” He shook his head in disappointment. “I’m sorry … I just … I need you to leave.” I could hear the weary despondency in his voice as he warned, “Don’t make me ask you again.”
On that note, I left before I lost my dignity and begged them both to understand. I loved Eilidh.
I just wasn’t capable of loving her the way she loved me.
She deserved more than I could give.
Sixteen
EILIDH
Typing out the end of the scene, I hit the last key on the keyboard with satisfaction and then saved the document.
My script was coming along.
I’d thrown myself into it the last few weeks, supported by my family who treated my writing time like it was precious. I’d taken to writing early in the mornings and when I went next door for a coffee, Mum already had one waiting. No one interrupted me in that time and whoever greeted me when I came out of my writing cave asked me excitedly, “How did it go?”
I loved my family.
When I wasn’t writing, I spent most days with them and our large group of friends. Ardnoch was a small place, but our social circle was not.
Unfortunately, that meant gossip traveled fast.
Although no one knew why, everyone seemed to know there was discord between Fyfe and Lewis. My parents had asked about it, but I’d told Lewis not to tell them. I suspected he was relieved he didn’t have to. He loved Fyfe and I’d told him he didn’t need to choose between us. But he seemed to be taking Fyfe’s rejection of me almost as badly as I was. My nosybrother had known something was going on between us and he’d decided to drop in on us. He told me he never meant to, but when he’d heard me confessing my love, he’d “accidentally” eavesdropped.
As devastated but unsurprised as I was by Fyfe’s inability to love me, I couldn’t have it coming between him and Lewis. The problem with loving someone was that you wanted them to be happy even if they couldn’t be happy with you. Lewis was Fyfe’s family. I couldn’t be the reason that was taken from him. I was biding my time before I urged Lewis to mend fences with his best friend.
I said as much to Callie as I accompanied her and Harley to the doctor’s office. My beautiful wee niece was already fifteen months. She was a heavy, warm weight in my arms as she snuggled against my chest, coughing now and then, as we walked into the small general practitioners’ building. Harley had a cold that wasn’t shifting, so Callie was done being anxious about it and wanted to see a doctor.
“I agree.” Callie held the door open to the reception area. “But you have to give Lewis time.”
“Three weeks is plenty of time. It’s not like Fyfe and I slept together behind his back. I told a man I loved him and he rejected me. He shouldn’t be punished for that,” I said with a calmness I didn’t feel.
Callie shot me a look that said she could see right through me. “He hurt you, and Lewis and I take people hurting you very seriously.”
I lowered my voice. “Fyfe can’t help his feelings.”
Callie stopped us, smoothing a hand over her daughter’s back as she whispered harshly, “He can help denying his feelings to protect himself.”
“What does that mean?”
She pressed her lips together in contemplation.
“Callie … you can’t possibly want Fyfe to lose the only family he has over this?”
Her expression fell. “Of course not. And he won’t. Lewis just needs time.”
With a sigh, I nodded, and we walked over to the receptionist to announce ourselves.
After Callie checked in, we took a seat at the back of the quiet reception area and Harley started wriggling in my arms. She made a few whimpering noises before announcing loudly, “Bah mum mum!”
“She wants her mummy.”
My sister-in-law took her daughter and rubbed her cheek against hers. “I’m here, my darling,” she soothed. “I know, my baby girl, but Mummy is going to make the doctor make you all better again. Yes, yes, my sweet girl.”
