Couldn’t she see who I was? How I’d already failed her?
I ignored her question and spun around from pacing Lewis’s living room. “No.”
Eilidh stared at me wide-eyed, so goddamn beautiful and untouchable. “No?”
The hope in her expression made me furious. At her. At myself. Anger was a tight fist around my throat. “No as in … I … I can’t love you like that.”
Startled, she reared back like I’d hit her. “You can’t?”
“I care about you. I do. But I … no. You and I will never bethat. All I can ever give you is friendship.”
Tears burned in her eyes and it killed me to see them. To know I’d put them there. “I … I can’t be friends with you, Fyfe. I’m sorry.”
Renewed panic had me striding toward her. “Eilidh, please. Don’t do this to us. I need you.”
She gaped at me in disbelief. “I just told you I’m in love with you, and you just told me you don’t love me back … and you want me to put aside how that makes me feel becauseyouneed our friendship?”
Fuck.
“Eilidh.” I reached for her.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Eilidh, please.”
Footsteps thundered up the stairs behind us and I whirled around just as Lewis appeared at the top of them. His features were hard as granite. “You heard her.”
“Lew—”
He cut me off with a shake of his head, his gaze bouncing to Eilidh before hardening as it swung back to me. “Did you sleep with my sister?”
“No!” both Eilidh and I cried.
Lewis’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly. “But something happened.”
“Aye.” I nodded grimly. “I kissed her. Twice.”
“Even though you don’t love her?”
I’ll never know what stupid fucking gremlin possessed me in the next moment as I huffed, “Not all of us need to be in love with a woman to want to shag her, Lewis. That’s just you, mate.”
At Eilidh’s in-drawn breath, I squeezed my eyes closed in anguish.
“Fuck.” I reached for her. “Eilidh, I didn’t?—”
My words were cut off by Lewis who was suddenly in my face, his fist clenched in the front of my shirt as he shoved me away from Eilidh.
I stumbled back, fear rioting through me at the rage on my friend’s expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” I looked at Eilidh but she’d turned away, her chin trembling as if she was attempting to hold back tears.
It felt like my guts were being ripped open. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t talk to her. Just get out, Fyfe.” Lewis drew his sister behind him as if she needed protection.
From me.
I felt like I might be sick.
“I never meant to hurt you, Eilidh.”
