Discomfort shifted through me as I removed my hand from her back and stood.
Sorcha grimaced at the sudden physical distance. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird and awkward. It’s just this …” She gestured to the flat. “Most of the time I’m pretty happy on my own. Truly. But then something like this happens, and it makes me feel lonely.”
Shit. Compassion filled me, but I forced myself not to embrace her. I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. “I get it. I’m sorry.”
She studied me thoughtfully. “Do you really love her, then?”
I lowered my gaze, staring at Brechin who was giving me the same big puppy dog eyes as his owner. “Sorcha …”
“I’m happy for you. She must be really understanding, letting you come out here to help. Letting you talk to me.”
“Letting me?” I frowned. “You and I are just friends now. Allegra knows that.”
Sorcha scoffed. “Jared, we’re friends who used to fuck. If your wife says she’s okay with our friendship, she’s absolutely lying.”
“No. Allegra’s not like that.” Especially because our marriage wasn’t real.
“Oh. So if you found out she was still talking every week to a guy she used to fuck on the regular, you’d be fine with that?”
The thought of Allegra with any man filled me with a fury I didn’t want to examine too closely.
“I’ll take that murderous expression as a no.” Sorcha chuckled humorlessly and stood. “I’m sorry for dragging you down here, Jar. I’m sorry for holding out hope that your marriage would fall apart, and you and I could go back to what we had.”
My eyebrows rose in surprise at that confession.
“It’s clear that you and she are solid, and I shouldn’t be calling a married man to come and bloody rescue me.” Sorcha scrubbed a hand down her face. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sorch, it’s fine.”
“It’s not.” Her expression was apologetic. “Go home to your wife, Jared. I’ll call Donna.”
I shifted uneasily. “I can wait for her to arrive.”
“No.” She gave me a sad smile. “You’re not mine to rely on. You never really were, were you?”
Guilt shafted through me. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We can’t help who we love.”
I felt heavy with the exchange after I said goodbye to her and Brechin and got back in my car. Instead of leaving immediately, I decided I’d wait until I saw Donna pull up in her Toyota. When I searched for my phone to text Allegra I’d be back soon, I discovered I’d left the bloody thing on the kitchen table when I’d snatched up my car keys.
While I was sure Sorcha was wrong about Allegra, considering our marriage was fake, I couldn’t help but think how my wife wouldn’t meet my eyes before I left. Just seconds before that, she’d been touching me, offering me solace and fierce loyalty. The combination was a massive turn-on. But she’d switched it off, turned from me at the mention of Sorcha.
Fuck.
Maybe Sorch was right.
I was relieved on multiple levels when Donna showed up. Relieved for Sorcha that she had company and relieved that I could get back to Allegra before any of this looked suspicious. Not that I technically owed her anything. But I did. I’d promised her fidelity for two months.
I needed her to trust that I’d keep my word.
I just needed her to trust me.
Twenty-One
Allegra
Around forty minutes after Jared ran off to comfort his ex, I heard his phone ringing in the kitchen. Seeing Georgie’s name on the screen, knowing from Jared how worried the farmhand was about the animal someone had cruelly killed, I’d picked up. I’d told him where Jared had gone, and Georgie had sounded surprised. And a little pissed off.
