Finally, eventually, I drifted to sleep.
Twenty
Jared
Icouldn’t remember the last time I’d had balls this blue.
When Allegra proposed we refrain from seeing other people for the first two months of our marriage, I didn’t think anything of it. Contrary to popular belief, I had gone more than a week without sex. After my grandfather died, in fact, I’d gone six months without sex because I couldn’t bear to be close to anyone, even in just a physical capacity. The only person I hadn’t put my guard up with was Sarah because she was the only other person who was in as much pain as I was.
So I could go without sex.
The problem was that I’d promised to go without sex while married to and living with the sexiest fucking woman in existence.
Everything Allegra did turned me on.
One night, she brought all this girly shit downstairs so she could paint her nails while we watched a movie. When she’d stretched out a leg and bent over to paint her toenails, it might as well have been a striptease for how my body reacted.
I’d imagined knocking the nail crap out of the way, taking her gorgeous legs in hand, and hooking them over my shoulders so Icould go down on her. Thankfully, she was preoccupied with her nails so she barely noticed me excusing myself to go stand in the open door of the goddamn freezer.
Last night, playing her husband was easy and difficult at the same time. I’d never wanted to be anyone’s husband, but I couldn’t deny the possessiveness I felt around Allegra. How much I’d wanted to knock that rich arsehole through the wall when I’d spotted him across the room reaching out to tuck a strand of my wife’s hair behind her ear.
How many times had I wanted to do the same thing? To follow the move by trailing my fingers down her silky throat, to feel her pulse beneath my touch, to feel it race as I moved lower.
Being allowed to put my hands on her, in fact being “forced” to for the sake of our ruse, had stretched my willpower to its breaking point. If I didn’t rein in this bloody need for Allegra, I was going to do something we’d inevitably regret. Even if it felt fucking amazing in the moment.
Weirdly, I didn’t want our deal to end badly. When this was all over, I still wanted to be in Allegra’s life. I still wanted to be her friend. I needed her to know that she had one person in her life who knew her truth and saw her for who she really was: a good person who would do anything to protect those she loved. Selfishly, I wanted her to remain my friend too. To have someone other than Sarah who knew my worst secrets and still saw good in me.
I smiled to myself as I watched her baby-talking to one of the hens she’d called Ginger after a character in the movieChicken Run. She’d turned the chickens into pets. Ginger, to be fair,hadtaken a shine to Allegra. She ran like an excited kid toward her anytime Allegra was in the vicinity of the pen. My wife had announced after only one day of taking care of the chickens that she would never eat chicken again. We hadn’t since.
Something the hen did made Allegra tip her head back in laughter, and my traitorous eyes shifted down her gorgeous body. Hunger like I’d never experienced in my life tightened deep in my gut and in my balls.
Fuck.
If I didn’t get out of here now, I might just give into temptation.
I pushed open the kitchen window and called, “I’m heading out. I’ll catch you later!”
Allegra turned toward me, eyes wide, lips parted as if to say something, but I turned on my heel and hurried through the farmhouse before she could come after me.
“Fucking coward,” I muttered to myself as I drove the Defender away from the house.
“I was just about to call you,” Georgie said, striding toward my vehicle as I pulled up at the field called North Creich.
His grim countenance had me jumping out of the Defender. “What happened?”
Georgie shook his head, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “Someone killed a ewe.”
My chin jerked back in surprise. “Someone? What the hell do you mean?” I gestured for him to show me.
His voice was a wee bit shaky as he opened the gate. “I mean her fucking throat has been slashed.”
Rage and confusion flooded me as I followed him up the field. The sheep were gathered all together on the hillside while Georgie led me away from them. If Georgie hadn’t alerted me to a problem, the loud bleating from the sheep would have given it away. They were scared. “I don’t understand.”
Georgie led me right over to the fence that ran through North Creich and Little Ardshave. There was a dip in the land just before the fence and as we grew closer, I saw the body of the animal partially hidden because of it.
“Fuck,” I muttered, approaching the ewe slowly. Rounding her, I crouched to examine her neck and to my horror saw Georgie was correct.
This was no injury or attack from another member of the flock. The cut across her throat was too precise. A wound on her abdomen suggested she’d been stabbed there first to subdue her.
