But it would grow hot out soon, so I saw no reason for the fire to be lit today. Aria must’ve requested it for some reason. Maybe it had something to do with the member who sat opposite the fire in one of the two matching suede-and-fabric buttoned sofas. There was a coffee table in between where her laptop sat while she tapped away on her phone.
More light spilled into the hall from large openings that led to other rooms on this floor. I could hear the rise and fall of conversation in the distance beyond just as the head butler, Wakefield, appeared. He was dressed like the underbutlers and footmen in black tailcoat and white gloves. His waistcoat, as well as the maître d’hôtel’s, was dark green instead of white to differentiate them from the rest of the staff.
“Mrs. McCulloch,” Wakefield greeted me with a deferential nod, and I tried not to show my surprise that he knew of my change of circumstances. “Are you here to visit with Mrs. Hunter?”
“Yeah. Is she available?”
“I will inquire. May I offer you a refreshment while you wait?”
My mouth quirked at the corner. I just loved the old-fashioned manners here. “I’m all right. Thanks, Wakefield.”
“Very good, Mrs. McCulloch. I will return shortly.”
I nodded, flushing a little because every time he called me Mrs. McCulloch, I experienced a fluttering in my belly.Not going to analyze that either.
A few minutes later, Wakefield ushered me into Aria’s office.
The room was a smaller version of the estate library. Wall-to-wall dark oak bookshelves, an impressive open fireplace, and two comfortable armchairs situated in front of a captain’s pedestal desk. A floor-to-ceiling window adjacent to the desk let in light so it didn’t feel too dark. Tiffany lamps aided in chasing off the gloom too. Luxurious velvet curtains at the windowpooled on the wooden floors, most of which were covered in expensive carpets.
Aria leaned against her large desk. “So she finally appears.”
I blanched. “I’m sorry.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed heavily. “You know you used to say that a lot when you were younger. I thought we were past all the apologizing.”
Tears burned in my eyes. “I need you to know that no matter the stupid shit I spewed a few weeks ago that I would never intentionally hurt you.”
She remained unmoved, and I didn’t blame her. I’d acted impulsively in the past, said and done things I didn’t mean, and I thought I’d grown up since then. But what I’d said to her … “I know you love me. That you would have done anything for me. I had no right to make you feel guilty about going off into the world and finding what madeyouhappy.”
She grimaced, wincing as if in pain. “But you were right that I didn’t have to go this far away. Where …” Her mouth trembled as her eyes turned glassy. “Where you couldn’t follow me.”
I hurried to her, gripping her hands as my tears spilled free. “I am not your responsibility. You get to go wherever you want. To make a life where you want. I do not get to make you feel bad about that and … that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. Because I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed that I’m so selfish, Ari.”
“It’s not selfish to need someone.”
I sobbed for the second time that day. “I’m sorry for putting that on you.”
“Allegra.” She tugged me closer, dipping her head to meet my eyes. “Since you were fifteen years old, I have been plagued with worry that something happened I don’t know about. I thought … I thought it was something outside our family, but the last few years …” Her grip was almost painful. “You seem so bitter toward our parents.”
The question hung between us, and panic tightened my chest. “They … they just … they’ve never been there for me, Ari. Not like you.” I pulled out of her embrace, hating the lies that sat between us but knowing they were necessary. “You know they’ve never been to one of my shows. I doubt they’ve even seen my artwork outside of what you have here on the estate.”
“Well, that’s not true. About the artwork, I mean. Dad just asked me the other week if you had any pieces for sale. He wants something for the New York apartment. Though why he can’t just callyouand ask, I don’t know. Maybe because you never answer his calls.”
“What calls?” I scoffed, backing away. “The only time Dad and I ever see each other is on the forced family video calls.”
“Forced?” She scowled.
I shrugged, turning away so she couldn’t see my resentment. “Anyway, you and I are good now, right? Because that’s all that matters to me.”
“You know what matters to me? You. Your happiness. I’m worried about this situation with you and Jared. I know you’re a grown-up, but?—”
“Ari,” I cut her off, my expression falling. “I don’t want to lie to you, so please don’t make me.”
Fear darkened her gaze. “This could get you into so much trouble.”
I was optimistically starting to believe she was wrong. “It won’t. I’ve filled out all the forms for citizenship and uploaded all necessary documents. I have an appointment in Aberdeen next week to do all the biometric stuff. And that’s it. They’ll give me a decision within six months. It’s all going to be fine.”
“I’m not talking aboutthat… Ally … I see the way you look at him. How you’ve always looked at him.”
