Aria sighed, rubbing Mamma’s back. “Everyone has ups and downs, Mamma. Money doesn’t protect people from pain. But look at where we ended up. Both Allegra and I have found what we love and need here. Now it’s time for you to figure out what you need.”
Mamma nodded, grabbing our hands. “I have two very kind daughters who inspire me to be kinder.”
Tears burned in my eyes at her words, and she turned to look at me. Her face crumpled. “I am so sorry I ever raised a hand to you. Or that I was so blinded by my own hurt that I could not see how much this mess between me and your father hurt you.”
“I forgive you,” I promised.
She squeezed my hand tighter. “I never wanted to be a woman who ever touched her child in anger. My mother often would slap me when we were alone and pinch me in hidden places when others were around, and I vowed never to cause that hurt to my daughters. It is my greatest shame that I did.”
I was shocked at this revelation about Nonna. We didn’t see our Italian grandparents a lot, but the few times we had, Nonna was a jolly, affectionate lady. Though in hindsight, she did criticize Mamma a lot. I just thought it was their dynamic. Now, as Aria and I shared a look, I had to wonder if it was more than just distance and time that kept our visits with Nonna and Nonno few and far between. Once again, I was met with the sad realization that we didn’t really know our parents all that well.
I wanted that to change. I didn’t want to hold on to resentment or see only the bad in our relationship. Yes, my parents had always been a little distant, a little too busy, but before that day I walked in on my father with another woman, I’d been a kid who knew she was loved by her parents. There were plenty of happy memories together as a family. I wanted to hold on to those memories. I wanted to forgive. For me and Aria more than anyone.
“You never did hurt me before then or since.” I leaned into Mamma. “People make mistakes. What matters is learning from them. Right? I forgive you.”
Mamma nodded, eyes bright with heartbreak. “You are an angel, tesoro. I cannot believe I almost lost you.”
“I’m right here.”
“So what now?” Aria patted Mamma’s leg.
She knew what my sister was asking. Letting out a shuddering breath, she replied, “I do not know. For now, I just want to be with my children.”
Resting my head on Mamma’s shoulder, I whispered, “We can do that.”
Though they protested, I insisted on walking Mamma and Aria out to their car a few hours later.
“Jeez, the doctor says I’ve got to exercise, okay! You all are coddling me way too much.”
Mamma harrumphed but hugged me and got into the SUV.
Aria searched my face and body for signs of fatigue and pain. But I was feeling much better and ready to get back to life.
I gripped my sister’s biceps and gave her a wee shake. “I’m good. Arewegood?”
“I can’t believe you were hiding this from me the whole time—I know you were just protecting me. I get it. But I hate that you went through this. And when you’re better, if you’re up to it, I want to hear more about the boy who died.”
“Ashton.” His name was hoarse on my lips and always accompanied by a guilt that no amount of therapy could assuage.
“Ashton,” Aria repeated sadly. “When you feel up to it, will you tell me about him?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Okay.” She pulled me into her arms and kissed the side of my head. “I love you, Ally.”
I smiled. “I love you too.”
A few days later, I’d finally convinced everyone to let me get back to life as I knew it. Dad had postponed the start of his new movie, and it was costing the studio thousands of dollars a day, so I’d insisted he leave. Before he did, however, he told me that he’d ended it with Maggie. Although he loved her (and I could see that he was cut up about his choice), she belonged to a past life. Dad had been clinging to nostalgia. In the end, he’d decided he didn’t want to lose Mamma.
Unfortunately, Mamma wasn’t sure she didn’t want to lose him. I think Dad was ready to fight for her, though. It was up to my mother if he was too late. I’d stand by her, no matter what. And I’d stand by Dad too. They’d both made mistakes. I’d like to think that there were people who would love me through the worst things I’d ever do, and I wanted to be a person who loved the people I loved, even when they did something that wasn’t very lovable.
As always, Jared and I were up early. We’d eaten breakfast and Jared had gone into the living room to switch on the news for the weather for the week. My gold wedding band glinted on my finger as I washed our dishes. While I was recovering, there had been no sex, but Jared held me every night before we went to sleep and I always woke up in his arms.
There was no discussion about the fight we’d had the night of the accident. I think we both felt that words were kind of unnecessary. Well … most words.
I was still waiting on three particular words from my husband.
As I put away the dishes, the news presenter caught my attention as she announced breaking news from the US. I wandered into the sitting room, my heart jumping at the announcement on the news ticker below her on the screen.
