Is this what it would be like with him?
Bumping into women he’d fucked every five minutes? Women I despised.
I knew it wasn’t rational or fair, but thishurt.
Grabbing a glass of champagne off a passing server’s tray, I threw it back as I hurried out of the dining hall. Maybe I’d find Aria and North. They were kind. A shelter among these people.
The music was so loud, I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me. Suddenly, a strong, familiar hand gripped my arm and I looked up to find a furious Theo. He tugged me toward the library and my champagne spilled out of the glass with the movement.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
Two men were enjoying a whisky in the library.
“Gentlemen, apologies, but I require the room for some privacy.” Theo gestured to the door with all the imperiousness of the son of a viscount. “If you please.”
The two men shared a look and then smirked at me as they passed us.
I trembled with fury.
Theo shut the library door behind them and turned to me.
“You know what they think we came in here to do, don’t you?” I cried in outrage. “Let me out of here!”
Theo wore a mask of hard determination that made my heart beat fast and caused an impossible tingle between my legs that I shouldn’t be feeling when I was this pissed off at him!
He prowled toward me, and I stumbled back on my heels until I hit the bookshelves. With nowhere to go, I lifted a hand. He pressed his stomach into my palm, bracing his hands on the shelves above my head.
Caging me in.
Dominating.
A thrill coursed through me, and my breathing grew shallow.
“Do not walk away in the middle of a discussion. It’s rude.”
Indignation overtook my desire. “If I want to walk away from you, I can, Theo. At any time.”
“But over this?” he hissed, and I saw the fear and hurt blazing in his eyes. “Sarah … I can’t change my past. Fuck, do I wish I could now. It’s just a bloody reminder that I’m not good enough for you. I wish I could wipe away every second, so you didn’t have to come face-to-face with it. And so I didn’t have to witness that look when you do.”
Stung with remorse, I slumped against the shelves. “I’m sorry. I … I know you have a past. I knowwhyyou have a past. You don’t have to apologize to me about other women from before we met. I don’t want to make you feel guilty about it. It’s just … I just … it’sher.” Tears burned my eyes and I looked away.
But Theo caught my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “What happened there?” he murmured, concerned.
“I hate her,” I confessed. “She … she was so cruel to me while I worked here.”
The concern on his face transformed rapidly into outrage. “Cruel to you how?”
“She would always be in the room when I came to clean it. Most guests leave when they know housekeeping is coming. But she deliberately stayed and she would mock me the entire time I cleaned her suite.” I mimicked her, “Ooh, how awful it must be to be an invisible little mouse, cleaning up after everyone’s shit.”
Theo blanched. “Little mouse?”
I smiled sadly. “It hurt when you first called me that, but it’s different now. You actually made me like the pet name.”
“I know, but …” He glowered. “What else did she do?”
“She would spill things after I cleaned. Deliberately. Maliciously. She … she once … I was cleaning the toilet, and she sat down on it while my arm was in there with the … with the toilet brush.” I bit back the tears as shame filled me. “She … she bloody peed on me and then laughed like she hadn’t realized I was there. And I didn’t tell anyone. Because I’m a coward.”
A tear slipped free, and Theo caught it. When our eyes met, I froze at the rage in his.
