“Will you be okay?”
I nodded.
Jared glanced between us but said, “I’m going to shower, but I’ll leave my door open. You scream if you need me.”
Theo had the audacity to roll his eyes.
I glared at him, and he primly wiped his expression.
My cousin gave me one more assessing look before he shot Theo a warning glower. It lasted an awkward ten seconds at least, before he turned and took the stairs two at a time. Once I heard the creak of the floorboards above me, I focused on Theo.
It hurt to look at him, but I didn’t want him to know just how much. “What are you doing here?”
“May I come in?” he asked, expression pleading now that Jared was gone.
“No.”
He seemed surprised but accepting. “All right. Freezing my balls off while I say this to you seems like an excellent punishment.”
“I’m not punishing you.” I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. “I just don’t want you in this house.”
Pain slashed across Theo’s face, and he squeezed his eyes closed for a second. “Sarah.” My name was a hoarse plea. “I am so bloody sorry for how I treated you last night.” At my silence, he took a step toward me and stopped when I retreated. Raw agony swirled in Theo’s eyes, and my body trembled at his open vulnerability. “I got back to the flat about an hour after you, and I couldn’t get a flight out until this morning and then I was delayed in Edinburgh. I took the chance that you’d come here rather than the cottage. If I could have gotten here faster, I would have.”
“Why? Why would you do all that … for someone you care so little for?” I swallowed hard, fighting the burning in my eyes. I would not cry in front of him.
Theo flinched. “You know that’s not true.”
“Not really. I tend to judge people by their actions, not by their pretty words.”
Fear flashed in his gaze, clear for all to see. “Sarah … I’d had a visit from my brother while you were at your meeting. He doesn’t know that you’re independently wealthy, and he made it seem like I’m treating you to the good life, using you, only to discard you later … he accused me of being cruel and he brought up things about our past … I’m an idiot and I let him get to me. I let him convince me that I am a selfish bastard to keep you. You deserve to experience life, to get out there, and … and I felt like maybe I was hogging you.”
“Hogging me?”
“Keeping you for myself. Not letting you experience … other men.”
Indignation made me suck in a breath. “And did it ever occur to you that the choice to experience other men is up to me?”
“Yes,” he whispered. “A bit too late, unfortunately.” He stepped closer, and my fingers clenched tightly around the frame of the door. “Sarah, as soon as you left with Scott, I felt sick to my stomach. I …” He glanced away and I realized in astonishment that he was embarrassed. “I had a panic attack.”
Stunned, I could only gape at him.
“Not my finest moment. Any of it.” Theo huffed. That raw gaze returned to mine. “I didn’t sleep with Alice. I didn’t kiss her or touch her. I left as soon as Scott returned to the bar and told me he’d put you in a cab. Then, if I’m to be completely honest with you, I had another panic attack back at the flat when I saw you’d left.”
Confused, hurt, exhausted, I … “I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to that.”
“I’m not telling you to manipulate you. Whether I have a panic attack is entirely my issue to deal with. I just … I need you to know thatIknow I’m fucked up. But I want to be better.”
I stepped back into the house, shaking my head against my warring emotions. A huge part of me just wanted to forgive him. To believe him. But I was scared now. “I told you. I warned you that if you told me to go like I don’t matter, I would go. Well, this is me, going.” I moved to close the door, but Theo shot forward, expression desperate as he pressed a palm to the wood to stop me.
“Sarah, you matter,” he insisted urgently. “Don’t you see that? You matter more than anybody. And it terrifies me. But … losing you terrifies me more.” Theo swallowed hard. “I am not one to beg, Sarah. Pride is one of my greatest faults. But I’m begging you now. Please forgive me. Forgive me.”
Heart pounding at his declaration, staring up at this man who was so familiar to me, but saying things I never expected to hear him say … I slumped, releasing my hold on the door.
Theo charged me, yanking me into him, but I couldn’t make myself hold him.
Until it registered that he was trembling against me. “Please,” he whispered harshly in my ear, “please, little darling, please forgive me. I’m going to be better. Braver. For you.”
And because I loved him so much and wanted so desperately to believe him, I pulled back but only to clasp his face in my hands. His stubble rasped against my palms. “One last chance,” I warned. “And I mean it. I won’t let anyone treat me like that, Theo. Not even you.”
