Everything … everything hurt.
I was an idiot.
Jared … Jared had warned me. When someone isterrifiedof caring for you … you put your guard up. Not down.
And with all his issues and trauma, Theo Cavendish was utterly terrified of me.
That didn’t make this okay.
He didn’t get to treat me like this.
I’d warned him.
Fury cut through my pain. I’d warned him that if he told me to go again, I’d leave.
Notching my chin higher, like I didn’t have a damn care in the world, I strode toward the bar, past it, heading toward the exit. I’d almost made it when a hand wrapped around my biceps.
Stupid relief flared through me. Until I turned to find Scott.
He searched my face. “Are you all right? Are you leaving?”
My eyes flicked over his shoulder where Theo was in the booth, laughing with the redhead and the rest of the group.
I think I hated him then.
I looked back at Scott. “I’m just … not feeling this place.”
“Yeah, this place is kind of over. Would you like some company?”
And maybe because I was just petty enough to do it, I nodded and let him take my hand. Without looking back, I exited the bar with Scott, leaving Theo behind.
Twenty-One
THEO
It was quite possible I was about to upchuck my four whisky sours all over the table in front of these people.
Sarah had left with Scott.
I’d pushed her to him.
Now my heart wouldn’t stop fucking racing and my chest felt tight. The faces of my companions, including Alice, a costume designer I’d worked with but never slept with despite her flirtations, were blurry. Their voices, their words, became muddled noise.
It had been an hour since Sarah had left the bar with another man, and every time I thought about how I’d treated her, or how Scott might have his hands on her … how he might be inside her … fuck, I was going to be sick.
I couldn’t breathe.
Pushing out of the booth, uncaring if I looked like a madman, I hurried toward the restroom, feeling the room tilt not from drunkenness … with panic.
I burst into the loos and hurried over to the sink.
I couldn’t catch my breath.
Fuck.
I was having a panic attack.
Trying to loosen shirt buttons that were already loose, my fingers felt numb and useless. When was the last time I’d had a panic attack?
