Her eyes widened ever so slightly, her lips parting in surprise. “T-thank you. Too.”
I gave her a small smile, forcing myself not to touch her. Not to kiss her. Only to watch her as she hurried out of my room, darting down the hallway without looking back.
Finally, I shut the bedroom door and leaned against it.
Plotting.
My life was a disaster at the moment, and the last thing I needed was to jump into another relationship. But I didn’t care. There had to be a way to get Aria to agree to see me. I just had to figure out how to convince her I couldn’t give a flying fuck who her father was. That all I wanted was to get to knowher. And to make her come a million times more while I was at it.
Reminded of my arousal, I glanced down. It was time to take a shower and relive every glorious bloody second of my night with the one woman I apparently couldn’t have.
Apparentlybeing the operative word.
Aria had been living in Scotland for a while, but she obviously hadn’t figured out the one thing that many Scots had in common. We were a stubborn bunch of bastards, and I was the biggest stubborn bastard of the lot.
When I wanted something as much as I wanted Aria, I never stopped until what I wanted was mine.
Sixteen
ARIA
Despite the emails in bold declaring themselves unread and stacking up in my inbox, I ignored them temporarily as I tried my sister on the phone for the third time that day. For the third time, it went to voicemail.
The pit in my stomach grew as I laid my cell on the desk and stared at it. My feelings about Allegra were so complicated, and I wondered if finally she felt the parts I never wanted her to feel. There was a place inside me that resented the fact that I’d loved her enough to sacrifice what I’d wanted to parent her in a way I’d never been parented. On the other hand, I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d left her to go off to college on the East Coast. But clearly I fucked up, anyway, because she went off the rails for a bit, and I was constantly worried it would happen again. And I resented her a little for that too. But I loved her more. The idea that she hated me for not backing her plans to drop out of college made me feel restless and hollow.
It was almost enough to distract my thoughts from North.
My phone pinged and I jolted, eagerly reaching for it as I saw a text come in from Allegra. Swiping the screen, I let out a breath.
Sorry, can’t talk now. Got class. Will call you.
The stilted tone, nox’s ando’s instead of the dozens she usually sent, didn’t make me feel any better. But what would I say to her if we actually talked?Oh, by the way, I know I decided you weren’t mature enough to drop out of college because you locked me in a room with a strange man for the night, but I just slept with that guy. Don’t you feel vindicated?
Not that I thought she should feel vindicated. What she did was still wrong. But I knew she’d be hurt and annoyed to discover her plans came to fruition, despite what she saw as punishment.
I just needed to know she was emotionally okay.
I get it. Hope classes are good. Love you xo
I waited five minutes, and she didn’t respond.
It hurt more than I liked because it made me feel used. Like I wasn’t lovable to her unless I helped her get what she wanted out of life.
Now I was just being maudlin. I tutted at myself, turning the phone over to stare at my screen. The clock on my desktop told me it was almost eight o’clock in the evening. Today had beena day. After I got home from my evening with North, I’d showered and barely slept a wink. Then I’d spent the day vacillating between worry for Allegra and daydreams about North Hunter’s heated gaze and boyish smile.
I still couldn’t believe that he’d so obliterated my thoughts with undiluted lust that I’d had sex without overthinking everything. In fact, I’d been thinking only of one thing, and that was North + orgasm = YAY.
Remembering the way he’d kneeled over me, powering into me, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t been thinking about the way I looked beneath him. When Lucas took me in that position, I always worried that my belly jiggled with his thrusts, so I always maneuvered him out of it.
Not with North.
I hadn’t cared with North.
He’d made me feel so wanted and attractive I could almost cry thinking about it now. If someone had told me a single night with that Scot could soothe wounds I’d been nursing for years, I never would have believed them. He hadn’t miraculously made me trust men, but I trusted he found me attractive. That he liked my body. And that feeling was addictive. The emails I’d usually use as an excuse not to return to my lonely beach house held no appeal. Instead, my skin flushed at the thought of sneaking upstairs to North’s room.
I hadn’t seen him today. He’d stayed away. Maybe he wouldn’t want me again, anyway.
I should go home.
