She sighs and looks down at our hands, then up at me.
“Who’s going to make Marlen pay for his crimes?” Jaroslav growls, standing up.
“This is getting us nowhere,” Stefania shouts, interrupting everyone. “What is the point of this meeting if nobody is willing to be understanding?”
“How can we be understanding when we’re sitting with an enemy?” Zakhar offers.
“You call me your enemy, but who was it who first kidnapped my sister? And where is his punishment for that crime?” I growl, pissed off at what a massive waste of time this is.
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. I didn’t come here to fight. I came here to apologize. But how can I achieve that when they won’t let me?
I look toward Stef again. She looks miserable.
She stands up. “Take me home,” she mutters, flooded with disappointment.
“Are you leaving with him?” Jaroslav blurts out, horrified.
“Yes, Jaro. I’m leaving with him,” she answers calmly.
Stef walks toward the door, and I steal one last glance around the table before following her out.
***
Over the next few days, I watch Stef as she tries to hide her misery from me.
Guilt clings to me like bad taste in my mouth that I can’t get rid of. I let her down. I should have tried harder.
What makes things worse is that she’s trying so hard to hide her disappointment and still be cheerful for my sake.
There is something so delicately sweet about her nature that I’ve never seen in another person before. She’ll set aside her emotions, her hurt, in order to make sure the people she cares for are ok.
One evening at the dinner table, Stef is chatting about Talia, telling me a story from a while ago about when they went on a girls’ day out together. She’s smiling and laughing, but I know her well enough to notice the sullen glimmer in her eyes.
I watch her, animated and gorgeous, and I think about everything we’ve been through together.
The moments that stand out the most to me right now are the times I took out my anger on her. How I was so hellbent on revenge against her brothers for what they’d done, and I was perfectly comfortable with making her suffer for it.
How could I have been so cruel?
And in the end, I was the one in the wrong. I was the one who should’ve been apologizing.
Fuck.
I’m such an idiot.
I don’t deserve her trust or her care. I don’t deserve any small piece of tenderness she’s giving me.
After dinner, while Stef is in the shower, I call Jaroslav.
For her, I will swallow my pride and fix this mess. I need to meet with them again.
***
This time, it’s a smaller meeting. I don’t want it to get out of hand again, so I’ve asked to just sit down with Diomid and Jaroslav. No one else. It’s hard to be vulnerable and apologetic with a room full of egos like before. But I’m hoping that my sister’s husband has his own reasons to want to resolve this. And that Jaroslav will find the patience to hear me out for his sister’s sake.
“Marlen,” Jaroslav says as I walk into his office. Diomid is sitting on the sofa near the window. I greet them both and take a seat opposite Diomid.
“Thanks for agreeing to see me again,” I say, keeping my voice calm and steady.
