I wanted to reach out and tell her it was okay, she didn’t need to tell me all this right now.
“This might sound strange, but coming to Poplar Springs and living on the ranch felt like coming home. I loved being there, but that didn’t mean my marriage was perfect or that Luke was a paragon. He could be a very difficult man at times, always insisting on things being donehisway. I felt…I felt like I had no voice in our relationship. To the town, he was the golden boy.”
She turned to look at me. “He never told anyone that the NFL wasn’t interested in him. As far as anyone knew, he’d turned down the NFL draft to return home to the family ranch. He couldn’t stand thethought of losing face. Luke wasn’t what he seemed. He got very defensive at any hint of criticism. He could never admit he was wrong. He could never consider someone else’s point of view. And he could never seem to realize that I had thoughts and feelings and wants outside of him. I began to dread the years ahead.”
The words seemed to pour out of her. “I fell out of love with him. There were times when I didn’t evenlikehim. I realized my marriage was failing months before his death. I thought about leaving him, but I couldn’t do that to Henry, and the Thornes were so good to me, so I committed myself to dealing with a disappointing marriage and making the best of things.”
I saw that she was trembling with emotion and took her into my arms. “You don’t have to say any more.” She shook her head against my chest and pulled back enough to meet my eyes.
“I do. I felt so guilty when he died because I was actually a tiny bit relieved. That’s why I went to see the grief counselor. She was the only one who knew about everything until now, although I think Jake and Brian had their suspicions.”
The twins’ demands from the night before suddenly made sense. They’d seen how their brother had dismissed Amy’s feelings and wishes. No wonder they were so protective of her. They knew what she’d endured.
“So you see, you have nothing to live up to,” Amy said with a glimmer of tears in her eyes. “You’re not my second choice, Cal. You’re the love of my life. I was scared to leave town with you because I was afraid of making the same mistake again, of losing myself in a man. I realize now that wouldn’t happen with you. You’ve been so good to me, so caring and considerate of my needs. I want to offer the same to you, so if you need to spend a few months a year traveling with the rodeo in order to be happy, I get that. I’ll be here waiting for you when you come home.”
She was giving me a choice to keep the life that I’d loved for the past decade and have her, too. For a second, I was tempted by her offer. There was security in knowing the rodeo life was still open to me. But, somehow, traveling from place to place had lost its appeal. I was surer than ever that my priorities had changed, and I couldn’t see any reason to leave her.
I cupped her cheeks and brought her face closer to mine. “I love you even more for being willing to let me leave, but there’s no happy ending for me that involves being away from you for months at a time.” I kissed her softly. “You’re stuck with me for as long as you’ll have me.”
“I’m going with forever.” Tears tracked down her cheeks and I flicked them away with my thumbs.
“I’m hoping those are happy tears,” I said, dropping kisses on her forehead and closed eyelids.
“Very happy. Ecstatic, even.”
I kissed her lips then in the home that would be ours. I wished it were already furnished and we were moved in, but that would come in time.
“Can we go to the ranch?” I asked when the kiss ended. “I’d like to see Henry.”
“He’ll be thrilled to see you,” she said, and her face grew serious. “His one concern about moving off the ranch was that you wouldn’t be able to find him. I promised him that you always would.”
“I will.” My heart was so full of love I almost didn’t know what to do. “I want to make love to you tonight and sleep in your bed without having to lie about staying on the couch.”
“That sounds like a perfect ending to the day,” she said, taking my hand and walking out of the home where we’d spend the years ahead.
THIRTY-SIX
CAL
Iwas nervous following Amy back to the ranch. While I felt sure I’d be welcomed by Jake, I wasn’t sure how Laura felt about me. I had an idea given the conversation I’d overheard, but we had never actually sat down to talk. I’d hoped to do that soon, but my heart had had other, more important things to consider first.
We turned onto the road leading to the ranch and in the distance, I could see the house. The lights in the living room and kitchen were on. As we parked, the back door flew open and Henry came racing out. He was already in his pajamas and he was shouting and cheering.
“Uncle Cal! Uncle Cal!”
“Hey, bud,” I said as I slammed the truck door. I barely made it two steps before Henry leaped into my arms in the biggest show of affection he’d ever given me. He hugged me and I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back. “Wow, that’s quite a hug there. You’re getting strong.” He had his head pressed against my neck and I heard him sniffle. “Hey now, what’s going on?”
Henry lifted his head and took a swipe at his tears. “I’m just so happy to see you. Are you back to stay?”
I nodded. “I am. That is, if it’s okay with you?”
“It’s okay! It’s okay!” Henry chanted making me chuckle. I hugged him again and went to set him down, but he tightened his arms, so I carried him to the porch steps where Laura stood waiting for us. “Grandma, look! Uncle Cal came back to us.”
“I see that,” Laura said. She was twisting her hands together anxiously. As much as I wanted to walk past her and follow Amy up the stairs to her bedroom, I knew Laura and I needed to clear the air first. I might never be the son she wanted, but I needed to know she would be okay with me being around for Amy and Henry.
I set Henry down. “Why don’t you go inside with your mom? I’m going to have a little talk with your grandma.” I looked to Laura to confirm and she nodded.
“Will you come read me a story after?” He looked so hopeful, there was no way I could say no.
