“Okay, so she’s pretty,” I said. “What does that change?” I was goading Rafael, but I wanted to see his reaction.
“Nothing, of course. She’s still wrong.” Rafael said gruffly before taking another look and tucking his phone away, making me want to laugh out loud. My friend was smitten with the textbook editor, who a week ago had been his sworn enemy. “I’ll keep you updated. What’s going on with you?”
I shrugged. “Some press events. Also got to tour the location and gave some suggestions for better traffic flow for the competitors. Mostly, I feel like I’m cooling my heels.”
“Not like you to spend this much time in one place.” Rafael shot me a stare. “Making you antsy?”
Was it? I had expected it to, but so far, I was feeling okay. The thought gave me pause. “It’s all right. Kind of nice. Nothing’s sore in the morning when I get up.”
“Man, I get that.” Rafael had been a badass steer wrestler. During his last event, his jump from the horse didn’t go well, and he couldn’t get a full grip on the steer’s horns to see the throw through to the end. He got head butted and took the tip of the steer’s horn to the back, causing damage to his kidney, which he ended up losing.
I’d always credited Rafe with making me a better rider. I missed him when he left the circuit, but he appeared to be happy with his new life teaching history in his hometown. “You’ve got a good opportunity ahead of you in broadcasting. I think you’re a natural for that. You’d make a hell of a teacher, too, but I’m betting I can’t convince you to enter the classroom.”
“Hell no.” I wouldn’t mind teaching kids to ride and compete, but I couldn’t imagine spending my time in the confines of a school building every day. Some classrooms didn’t even have windows. The thought of going all day without seeing the sky made me shudder. “I’m looking forward to a change.”
“Are you?” Rafael sent me another “no bullshit” stare.
“Sure.” I tried to work up my excitement. “I think I’ll like interviewing competitors and talking stats. Rodeo is the one thing I know well.” I kept talking, trying to list the reasons that my new job was what I wanted. It sounded hollow even to me, and Rafael wasn’t buying it either.
“Let’s get to the unvarnished truth,” Rafael said a few minutes later. “What do youreallywant?”
Our food was placed on the table, but neither of us started eating. Rafael was an old friend, so I said what was on my mind. “The truth is, I’m not going to be happy with anything that means I have to leave Amy and Henry behind.”
“That’s how it is, huh?” Rafael didn’t seem surprised.
“Yeah, it is.” The truth suddenly became crystal clear. I could leave town, but I didn’t want to leaveher. I had to figure out a way to keep Amy in my life, and I didn’t have a whole lot of time to do that. I needed to talk with her, alone with no distractions or pressure from anyone else. “Rafe, I need a romantic spot to take Amy. Someplace the townsfolk won’t see us.”
“I’ve got some ideas,” Rafael said as he pulled a notepad from his pocket and flipped it open to a blank page. “Let’s eat and we’ll discuss a good spot you can take a lady.”
“What’s the notepad for?” I asked.
“A list of pros and cons for each location.” Rafael stared at me. “You gotta make a list.”
“You’re right.” I picked up my burger, feeling re-energized. I would find a way to make this work with Amy that wasn’t short term.
By the time dinner was over, I had narrowed down the romantic possibilities to one place not too far from the ranch that had to be reached on horseback. A trail ride and a picnic seemed the perfect way to have a discussion with Amy, one that might change my life.
I wished I was the type of man who could offer Amy a home, but I just wasn’t built that way. Staying in one place for too long made me feel claustrophobic. But life on the road with me meant living in an RV and following the rodeo circuit. Amy might like the change of scenery, I reasoned. And with her marketing skills, she could easily pick up a job with one of the vendors who followed the circuit.They’d be thrilled to have someone with her expertise. And Henry was easily pleased. He’d love being around the riders and horses. It could be a good life for the three of us.
The more the idea took root, the more I liked it. But first I’d have to convince Amy. If she absolutely refused to be on the circuit, I might be able to find a way to use Poplar Springs as a sort of home base. I could manage small town life if it was only part time. It was the sense of being trapped in one place with nowhere to go that had gotten me before when I’d tried to settle down. I was in the middle of my month in Poplar Springs and I wasn’t climbing the walls yet because I had Amy in my life.
With her at my side, we could manage…but only if she was willing.
I called her late that night to set up a date for the following evening. We’d ride out, have a sunset picnic, and come home by moonlight. Nothing more romantic that that. I couldn’t wait.
TWENTY-FIVE
CAL
Nerves kept me awake for much of the night and I carried those nerves with me until I arrived at the ranch the next afternoon. I parked in front of the house, went up the steps, and rapped on the door, but no one answered. Finally, I let myself in and headed for the kitchen. Voices reached me before I turned the last corner. I stilled when I heard my name.
“I’m so glad to have met Cal,” Laura’s voice said, “but it’ll be easier when he goes. He’s…he’s so much like Luke. It startles me every time I see him.”
The words hit me with force. Laura continued to see me as just a copy of Luke?
“And I know Jake finds it tough to be around him,” Laura continued speaking. “Brian doesn’t say much, but I can see that Jake is suffering. He won’t talk about it, of course, but the pain is in his eyes. Oh, Amy, knowing Cal is such a mixed blessing. While I don’t regret meeting him, it’s been so hard.”
I could picture the scene. Laura distraught, Amy trying to comfort her. Both of them hurting, because of me. Had I only brought pain to my newfound family? Dammit. I was sure that Jake and I had connected. We had a lot of common interests and could talk with each other easily whether we were looking over a horse or sharing some beers. We weren’t brothers yet with all the history that entailed, but there was friendship. Or at least, I had thought there was. Had Jake been hiding how he truly felt until some sort of polite veneer? I wouldn’t have thought he was the type to put on a front like that.
