Condom in place, he was back between my thighs, stretched out over me, the weight of his upper body resting on one arm. He reached down, lifting my leg to drape it over his hip while his lips came back to mine. The kiss was deep and intense, and I dug my fingers into his shoulders, holding tight to keep from falling. On his lips, I could taste the promise of more to come, and I wanted it all.
Arousal was coiling tight inside me and my leg was shaking when I felt him nudge against my entrance. I shifted slightly so I could wrap both of my legs around him. He pressed in slowly, moving carefully in and out, each forward thrust going in a little deeper. He groaned each time and it took me a moment to realize he was holding back—keeping his pace slow out of concern for me, given that I hadn’t had sex in more than four years.
My heart swelled at the consideration but I was ready for more. At the next thrust, I tilted my hips up and tightened my heels against his butt until he was fully seated. I moaned at the full feeling and Cal shuddered above me. It was as if he was holding me together from the inside. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine, and I realized he was as affected as I was.
“Oh God, Amy, this feels so damn good.” He wasn’t moving inside me, but I could feel his hard length and the heat. I was definitely going to combust.
“Cal, please. I really need you to start moving now,” I whispered, tightening my muscles around him and drawing a groan from him. He started to move, finding a rhythm for us and kissing me all the while. Long, deep kisses timed to match each stroke of his dick. I felt the coil of heat inside me expand until I could think of nothing but the movement of our bodies and the coming pleasure.
I moaned and he swallowed it down with our kiss. My trembling became stronger. I was close, and he knew it. He sped up, each thrust sending me higher and higher. Finally, when my climax broke over me, I whispered his name over and over against his lips. He held me close, moving in a way that prolonged my orgasm until his came.
He collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my arms around him, not ready for him to move. It felt so good holding him like this.
“You’re amazing,” he whispered into my shoulder where he’d buried his face against me. “So amazing.” His breaths were harsh, blowing warm air across my skin. We stayed like that, our hearts beating a staccato against our chests. When his breathing calmed, he rolled to the side and pressed a kiss to my shoulder before sitting up to remove the condom and toss it in the trash. He was back in an instant, rolling me so my back was pressed against his chest. He laid spooned around me, his hand gently stroking my side. For a long time neither of us spoke.
“Should I go?” he asked eventually, his lips in my hair.
I sighed. “I don’t want you to.” Making love with Cal had been an experience to savor. He knew exactly what he was doing and he put my enjoyment above his own. And he might have said that I was amazing, but he was, too. In truth, I felt a little overwhelmed. I hadn’t expected the emotional connection between us to be so strong.
“Me either,” he said, “but I don’t want to make this tougher on you. Ifyou think Laura and Jake won’t buy the sleeping on the couch story, I’ll go.”
Now was one of the times when I wished I’d bought a little house for myself and Henry off the ranch. I loved living here. Being close to Laura and her sons gave me much-needed emotional support, and Henry adored living on the ranch. But sometimes I wished I could live in a place where I didn’t have to keep pretending my marriage had been perfect for the sake of other people’s feelings. It was getting harder to maintain that fiction.
“No, stay.” I wasn’t letting the shadows of my marriage to Luke steal this time with Cal. This moment belonged to us, not the past.
He reached for his phone on the nightstand. “I’ll set an alarm to make sure I get up early and move to the couch. I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
“You won’t,” I said, but that was a lie. My heart was tied up with his and that was going to cause me trouble down the road—but not yet. For now, I was going to hold on to this happiness while I could.
He settled back into bed, pulling the blanket over us and cuddling me close as though I were precious to him. His body relaxed against mine and I could hear his breathing start to even out. When he was nearly asleep, I finally worked up the courage to speak again.
“You can come again tomorrow night if you want to,” I said. My offer was met with a moment of silence. Was he asleep? Or unsure of how to answer? Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.
Before I could move away, he rolled me onto my back and kissed me in a way that left me with no doubts.
“I’ll be here tomorrow,” he said against my lips. “I’ll be here anytime you want me.”
TWENTY-ONE
CAL
In the morning, I took a quick shower in Amy’s bathroom and headed for the living room. I considered trying to make it look as though I’d slept on the couch, but I decided that I wasn’t into that kind of deception. While I stood there debating, my eyes fell on a wedding portrait hanging on the wall. I’d noticed it on a previous visit but hadn’t looked closely. I took a moment to study the picture.
Amy looked beautiful in a white dress standing next to her husband, both of them smiling. The photo was taken on a beach with the sunset behind them. Amy said she’d gone to school in Los Angeles and I tried to figure out which beach that might be. The only one that came to mind was Malibu, but I’d never been there, so I couldn’t say for sure. Luke’s arm was around her waist, in a possessive gesture. I shouldn’t feel jealous of a dead man, but for a moment I did. Even though I’d slept most of the night in Amy’s bed, she wasn’t mine. Everything between us was temporary and overshadowed by her dead husband.
I hadn’t been thinking that while making love to her, and I hoped she hadn’t been either. No, I wassureshe’d been focused on me sinceshe’d whispered my name over and over. A wave of guilt hit me. Was I stealing something that should have been my brother’s? I didn’t want to go there, so I moved on to the kitchen where I started making breakfast for the family.
I was cracking eggs into a bowl to make batter for French toast—I was good at making breakfast—when the shattering of glass made me spin around. Laura stood there, her hand over her heart and a broken drinking glass at her feet.
“I thought you were Luke,” she said before I could react. She was breathing heavily and her face had gone white.
“Sorry,” I said, moving toward her, afraid that she might collapse onto the glass-covered tile floor. “Be careful now.” I glanced down to make sure she had slippers on and led her to the kitchen island where I pulled out a stool for her. “I’ll clean up.”
“I can do it,” she said, but I didn’t want her moving when she still looked so shaken.
“Let me. It’s my fault you broke it.” I found a broom and dustpan to sweep up the shards, which gave Laura a chance to recover.
“What are you doing here so early?” she asked after I’d put a cup of coffee in front of her.
