“What happened?” I asked, withdrawing my finger. Touching him was probably not a good idea.
“A steer broke loose when his handlers were trying to load him into his trailer, and I got shoved up against a fence where there was a nail sticking out. Messy, but not serious.”
“Had to hurt,” I said, but he only shrugged and kept the conversation going. I liked that about him. He knew how to engage others and seemed genuinely interested in learning more about me and Henry and our life in Poplar Springs. I got so comfortable that I found myself revealing something only a handful of people knew. “I saw agrief counselor for a year after Luke’s death. I never told Laura, Brian, or Jake.”
“Why not?” His eyes focused on me.
I managed a small smile. “The Thornes don’t do that. They handle things themselves.” I’d worried that they would judge me for needing help, even though I secretly thought Laura could benefit from talking to someone outside the family as well. Even with counseling, I still felt guilty about how my relationship with Luke wasn’t what it appeared to everyone, but I’d learned to manage that guilt. I didn’t tell Cal that, but I did talk about the process of my grief, and it felt good to tell someone.
“Good for you for being brave enough to get help,” he said when I’d talked about my experiences. He’d never interrupted or offered the platitudes that so many people did. He’d just listened.
“I’ve been talking all about my family. Tell me about yours. Do they know you met your birth mom?”
“They do. It was my mom who encouraged me to reach out and say something. Her name is Charlene and my dad’s name is Edmund. I think I already mentioned they run a large construction company down in Austin.”
“You said your sister works there too. You didn’t want to join the family business?”
A shadow passed briefly over his features but it was gone an instant later. “Living in one place isn’t for me. I liked living on the road. Jen likes to tease me, telling me I’m migratory like some bird.”
“I went to school in LA and was planning on finding a job in a major city and living the urban lifestyle,” I said. He gave me his full attention. “But then I met Luke. The first time he brought me to PoplarSprings, I fell in love with the place and all the people, and it wasn’t long before I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.”
“After Luke died, you really never considered moving to a city?”
“Ididthink about it briefly, just because I thought the career prospects might be better. But the Thornes are my family, and I love my job, and I really do love this town?—”
“Which is why you’re working so hard to see the community center rebuilt,” he finished for me.
“Exactly.”
As the bar got more crowded, more patrons recognized him. A few even came to the table, but he resisted letting anyone make a fuss over him. He was so different from Luke. Luke loved being the center of attention. He’d been captain of Pop High’s football team and prom king—in his senior yearbook, he was voted the person most likely to succeed. When he’d headed off to college, he’d expected that same amount of attention. He’d gotten it from his fraternity bros, but over time, he’d had to absorb the hard lesson that he wasn’t the big man on campus he’d expected to be. There were other players who were far better at the sport than he was, and he had to work hard to keep from warming the bench. On top of that, he’d had to keep his grades up or risk more than a benching. His football scholarship had been dependent on him maintaining a certain GPA.
I hadn’t known any of that when I’d first met him. It was partly that strong work ethic and focus he’d learned to exhibit that I’d fallen in love with. But when I’d moved with him to Poplar Springs, all that had gone away. I’d been amazed how Luke was revered by seemingly everyone without him having to do much of anything. Everyone had been happy to talk endlessly about his high school football exploits as if they’d happened days rather than years before. Many applauded his decision to return home to take over the family ranch, stating howselfless he was to put family first instead of pursuing a professional sports career. He never bothered to tell anyone that he hadn’t received any offers. I’d found out about it on accident when I’d seen a text from the assistant coach letting him know that if he wanted to try for the NFL, he’d have to go as a walk on.
One time, when I was pregnant with Henry, we’d argued about his lack of transparency with the town. I’d told him I knew that he hadn’t gotten any offers, and he’d looked absolutely furious, as if I’d personally betrayed him by bringing up the hard truth instead of letting him live in his little fantasy.
Cal was the exact opposite to Luke. He didn’t focus on making everything about him. Instead, when we were together, he made me feel important. That kind of attention was seductive in a way I hadn’t experienced. The evening wasn’t a practice date, it was a dream one. Everything about it—the setting, the music, the man.
“How about a dance?” Cal asked after we finished our dinner.
I should say no because dancing with him, being pressed up against him… I shouldn’t. The dream I’d had came back to me again. It had been so visceral that I’d woken up reaching for him across my empty bed. I hesitated for just another second, but I couldn’t resist the temptation.
“I’d like that,” I said. Cal had no idea how difficult it was for me to throw caution to the wind. But I had a feeling he’d be worth it.
He stood and held out his hand to lead me to the dance floor. The music was slow and sultry as he pulled me into his arms. I looped mine around his neck and settled in, feeling that I was meant to be there.
I hadn’t felt this alive in a long time.
EIGHTEEN
CAL
Ihoped my half brother’s warning about getting Amy home by midnight had been a joke, because it was around one in the morning when we drove onto the ranch. Every minute of our practice date had been amazing. I’d spent the first half of the evening searching for clues that she was holding on too tightly to her grief to ever let go. Rafael’s warning about that had stuck with me. But I’d seen no sign of it. My other concern was that she was trying to recreate a date with Luke since we looked so much alike, but I didn’t think that was happening either.
Amy seemed to see me for me. The only time Luke’s name had even come up was when she talked about going to grief counseling. Her point about that was she’d gotten help so she could move on and build a better life for herself and her son.
After I realized that, I’d thrown myself into getting as much enjoyment out of the evening as possible. I liked treating her like the vibrant and beautiful woman she was and not the off-limits widow of a brother I never knew. Because I liked her, more than I could ever remember liking a woman on a first date or fifth date or even thetenth. It wasn’t just physical attraction between us—it was so much more than that.
When my arms were around her waist on the dance floor, I’d been in seventh heaven. But as I pulled up to the ranch house, I had to accept that the evening was over. All I could do to prolong it a little longer was to be a gentleman and see her to the door. I got out of the truck and went around to her side to open the door.
