“Not really,” I said. Any other time, she might be, but not tonight. “I’m not interested.” I nodded to the woman as a thank you and turned back to Jake and Rafael.
“I’ve never seen her before, but she’s hot,” Jake said. “Must not be from around here.”
I shrugged, folded the napkin, and shoved it under the edge of my plate, which was a clear sign that I wasn’t taking it home with me.
“Hell, if you’re not going to go talk to her,” Jake said, “do you mind if I try to convince her she’s hitting on the wrong brother?”
“Have at it,” I said, pleased at being referred to as his brother. I wasn’t surprised when Jake grabbed the whiskey, downed it, then swaggered off toward the woman. “Kids.”
Rafael laughed. “It wasn’t that long ago when you’d have been off that seat and charming the lady before the ink dried on the napkin.”
“Grew up, I guess,” I said.
“Yeah. Sure.” Rafael wasn’t convinced. “You seeing someone?”
“No.” And yet, my thoughts immediately went to Amy.
Rafael finished his beer before pinning me with a serious look. “You hung up on a woman, then?”
“Is it so weird that I didn’t run across the bar and kiss that woman?” I glanced to where Jake was flirting with the brunette.
“Yes.” Rafael waited for me. My former rodeo mentor knew how to use silence to get what he wanted, but it gave me time to think as well.
Obviously, Amy was off-limits. She had to be. She still wore her wedding band, which meant she wasn’t ready to move on. And she was the definition of “rooted in a small town.” Of course, the biggest obstacle standing in my way was that she’d given me no clear indication that she was into me. Still, that laugh…damn. It got to a man.
I wasn’t willing to say all that to my buddy, but I could ask a question or two. “What do you know about Luke Thorne’s marriage to Amy?”
Rafael raised an eyebrow but answered. “Nothing firsthand. I only knew Luke himself in passing. We were far enough apart in age that he was just a kid when I went off to join the rodeo, and we had no reason to stay in touch. And then I came home to Poplar Springs a few weeks before Luke was killed. From what I’ve heard, they were the perfect couple.”
“That’s what everyone says.” It bothered me to hear it confirmed again. “If I stuck around here, do you think people would get over my resemblance to him?”
“You thinking of staying?” Rafael asked.
“I’m being hypothetical.” I wanted to make that clear. I didn’t need my friend pressuring me to take up residence in Poplar Springs. I had no intention of settling in a small town.
“All right, if we’re talking hypotheticals, I think folks would eventually get over it,” Rafael said. “After all, you’re not identical and your personalities aren’t the same either. People would eventually see you for you and get over the past.”
“That’s what I thought,” I said, feeling relieved that my friend agreed with me.
“Unless,” Rafael added, drawing out a long pause, “they don’t want to get over the past. That happens, too. I’ve seen it when my students’ parents get divorced. Every now and then, a parent will start lashing out or even grow distant from a kid because the kid reminds them of their ex. The weird thing is that it doesn’t even have to be about the kid physically looking like the ex.”
“Then what is it?” I tried to understand what my friend was saying.
“My opinion? It’s about the person being unwilling or unable to move past their old pain and focus on the person who’s actually standing in front of them. It sucks when that happens. And it breaks the kid’s heart, but some folks are just stuck in the past, and there’s nothing anyone can do to bring them out of it.”
“How many psychology classes did it take you to come up with that?” I couldn’t resist the tease and Rafe snorted in reply.
“Too many, Cal, but it’s also true.”
It made me wonder. Was Amy so mired in the past that she could never get over it? She seemed to appreciate me for who I was, but I could be misjudging our connection. If things progressed between us, would she see me as a sort of stand-in for her dead husband? That was a sobering thought, especially since I saw the possibility of something vibrant and alive between us. I wasn’t sure I would act on that possibility, wasn’t sure it would be smart to—but the possibility still existed, and damn if I wasn’t curious enough to want to find out where it could lead.
FOURTEEN
AMY
“He’s here! Mom! Cal’s here. He came back!” Henry was shouting as he raced from window to window, watching Cal’s truck lumber down the road.
“I hear you, bud, but if you shout any louder, the neighbors will hear you, too,” I said, ruffling his hair. “Why don’t you go meet him and bring him inside?”
