Rush went perfectly still, like someone had cut offhis air. “Lily?—”
“Let me finish,” she stopped him quietly. “I know you never promised me anything, and I kept telling myself I could handle that. That I could just enjoy what this was and let it end when it had to.”
A breath shuddered through her. “But today made it really clear I can’t do that anymore. I want this too much. And wanting it doesn’t make you wrong. It just makes me… done pretending I don’t. So it’s better if we end this now.”
She smoothed a thumb gently over Mira’s cheek, blinking back a blur of tears. “We can walk away before it hurts too much later.”
“Shit.” He sighed heavily. “I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
Her chest splintered at his words. “I know. That’s why we have to. Because you feel like the best thing I’ve ever had—and the one thing I can’t keep.”
He caught her gaze. She could see the war behind his eyes but no answer she could hold on to.
“This doesn’t have to be the end,” he said, voice strained with the emotions she saw in his eyes. “I’ll be back to see Sarah and Rachel and Pop. We’ll see each other. We’ll?—”
“Don’t you see how that’s worse?” Sadly, she shook her head. “That’s me settling, and I swore I would never do that again.”
“Lily—”
“It’s the same as me running from the altar,” she said softly. “Only this time, you’re the one running. I ran… and came back. You won’t.”
She leaned into his shoulder, absorbing his warmth one last time, until he tilted her chin up. His kiss was slow, reverent, a goodbye and a damn-you-not-yet kiss in one. It stole her breath and made her ache to saynever mind. Let’s go home together. I’ll pretend this is all I need.
And still, she kissed him back, drawing him in even as it tore her apart—because she knew it was the last time.
When he finally pulled away, his voice was sandpaper. “I hope your dreams come true, Lily. You deserve everything.”
He set Teddy carefully in the clear hospital bassinet, settled his Stetson low on his head, and walked out. He didn’t look back.
And then it was just her and Mira again. Rocking, silent tears sliding down her face, wishing love didn’t feel so much like loss.
Dreams weren’t supposed to break your heart. But as Mira’s tiny breath warmed her chest, Lily knew hers just had.
Chapter Forty-Three
Boston - one monthlater
Grant slid a fresh bottle across the table. “You look like you need something stronger than this.”
Rush lifted his head, squinting against the sickly green neon light buzzing in the window. The dive smelled like fryer grease and stale beer. The jukebox in the corner wheezed out Springsteen, and the floor was sticky with spilled beer under Rush’s boots.
He’d been in a hundred joints just like this one between deployments—cheap beer, cheaper whiskey, and a hum of voices that didn’t belong to him. He hadn’t belonged there either.
“Thanks.” He tipped the bottle to Grant in a mock salute. Old habits. “Been a long week.”
Grant took the stool next to him, loosening his tie. He looked as bone-tired as Rush felt. “Hell yeah, it has. How’s the first month treating you?”
Rush took a drink, letting the sour taste sit on his tongue. “Fine.” He shrugged. “It’s work.”
“Generally, that’s code for ‘it sucks.’ What’s the gig this week?”
“Corporate security detail.” Rush’s voice was flat. He was flat. Jesus. He needed to get out of this place, but his townhouse was even worse. He’d rented a sterile, modern box across from the river. All white walls, granite counters, and not a damn thing that felt like him. Riggs hated it too. He paced around the tiny postage stamp-sized yard, looking pissed.
Rush shook his head. “Spent forty hours standing outside a penthouse, making sure no one with the wrong suit jacket got past the front desk. It’s fine.”
Grant leaned back in his chair, giving him a long once-over. “Funny. You don’t look fine. You look about as happy here as a cat in a bath.”
Rush snorted, low and humorless. “I’m here, aren’t I?” He shoved the half-empty beer away and sat back, rubbing his neck.
