‘They’re brilliant.’ And by the wistful look on Gayle’s face, Addie wished she hadn’t kept herself or Isaac from her for so long. ‘I’m glad they’re in his life, because his dad isn’t really.’
‘May I ask what happened with Isaac’s father?’
Addie explained the gist of it. ‘I got Isaac from the fling, so I’ll never be sorry.’ She paused. ‘Gayle, did you ever have anyone special in your life? A man, I mean.’
‘Once upon a time, yes.’ She paused. ‘Jeffrey. We married, but it wasn’t to be. I struggled to have a baby and, well… it broke us.’
‘Gayle, I didn’t realise.’
‘I never told a soul. It was easier that way. It’s why I particularly regret that I didn’t make more of you and Susanna being in my life.’
‘I think you did your best in the circumstances. I’m sorry it was so hard for you.’
‘It was hard, but I had my cottage, you girls, my café, and despite the struggles, I was grateful. But I also had to honour a promise to Harry.’
‘Susanna told me you’d promised Dad that you would never let us fall out.’
‘Is that all she told you?’
‘Well, yes. What else is there?’
‘The promise is also the reason why I never showed too much enthusiasm about your love for baking.’
Addie felt taken aback. She should have put two and two together when her sister told her about the promise. ‘So I didn’t imagine you pushing me away.’
‘Oh, Addie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to at all, but?—’
‘I understand.’
‘I feel so terrible about it.’
‘I’m just glad you told me.’ She reached out and held Gayle’s hand. ‘You wanted me and for so long I thought you didn’t.’
‘I wanted you very much.’
‘Over the years I thought a lot about how my life might have been different,’ Addie shared. ‘If I’d stayed here, if I’d pursued baking, not a career in web design.’
‘Do you understand why I did what I did?’
‘I do. You made a promise.’ But she wished in a way that her dad hadn’t asked that of Gayle; he was, in part, to blame for the way things had turned out, heaping an additional pressure on his sister’s shoulders. He couldn’t have known it would backfire, that it might have kept his girls together, but it had made her life so very different than it might have been.
‘You know, I question myself with Isaac all the time,’ said Addie. ‘I ask myself should I let him have more freedom, am I being too strict, am I creating good memories not bad ones? Parenting is a tough job, no matter which way you look at it.’
‘You’re being so kind.’ Gayle’s eyes prickled with tears. ‘May I ask you a question?’
‘Go ahead.’
‘Why don’t you ever let anyone call you Adeleine these days?’
Addie smiled. ‘Initially, it was because Dad was the one to call me that. My friends called me Addie – so did Susanna, from time to time. When Dad died, I didn’t want anyone else to use that name. Not even you.’
‘Oh, I know.’
‘It’s less of a big deal now than it was then, to be honest. My bossalwayscalls me Adeleine, but it does sound a bit more grown up in the office, so I let it slide. I suppose I’ve been Addie for so long that I’ve grown to like it. It’s no longer because hearing Adeleine is painful, it’s more that I’m different.’
‘I do wish the three of us had worked this out a long time ago. When you two girls came to live with me, I told myself that this was my chance to be a mother figure, but then I kept messing it up.’ She pre-empted Addie’s disagreement, ‘I did. You girls were young, and it should’ve been me who managed to get you both to a better place. I’ll never forgive myself that I didn’t.’
‘Well, you should. Susanna and I know we have all contributed to the three of us not having a very good relationship.’ She paused. ‘Susanna also knows that I pulled back from you because of her. My big sister, who I looked up to, I didn’t want to do anything that went against her wishes, and so when you weren’t particularly enthusiastic about my love of baking, I accepted it, I stepped back. I should’ve been stronger and become my own person earlier on. I liked it here, felt at home. I always wondered what it might have been like if I’d followed my dreams. I knew that you had, that you’d found a wonderful place to live on a beautiful island and you’d launched a successful business.’ She looked fondly at Gayle. ‘Do you know how many times over the years I wanted to call you up and talk to you?’
