‘I found a letter,’ said Susanna and judging by Louisa’s face she knew exactly what letter she was referring to. ‘You knew about it?’ she asked her.
Louisa nodded, in shock. ‘I can’t believe it still exists after all this time.’
‘It was tucked away in a folder of Dad’s. I assume your mother is Lily.’
‘Yes. Lily Miller.’
‘And she told you about Harry?’
‘Only when I was older and better able to understand. She told me the affair was brief, that my biological father chose his family, and then she told me about the letter she’d sent that Harry never responded to. I saw it as a rejection. I decided at that point that I never wanted to track down a man who wasn’t interested in me.’
‘What changed your mind?’ Susanna asked. ‘Presumably you’re only in touch with Gayle because you tried to find Harry.’
Louisa hadn’t touched her tea. ‘I started to wonder, what if? What if someone else had found the letter first and got rid of it? What if it never actually arrived? Mum supported me and we tried to find Harry. I decided that if he told me he wasn’t interested, I’d be hurt, but I’d know once and for all. I discovered he’d passed away not long after Mum sent the letter. I also found out he had a sibling.’ She smiled across at Gayle who smiled right back. ‘I wanted to at least find out a bit about him. It’s hard not knowing where you really came from, always wondering. At least now I know a bit. And I see where I got my curly hair from.’
The remark relaxed all three women and Susanna told Louisa, ‘Addie still has the riotous curls – I lost mine as I got older, but it’s certainly a Rafferty trait.’ She looked at Gayle, remembered how crazily curly her hair had been when they first came to live with her on the island, how young their aunt was. She hadn’t ever really acknowledged what a grenade the arrival of her nieces must have set off in her aunt’s life. It had been all about her and Addie, their new life, their survival.
Susanna winced at the lukewarm tea and set her cup down.
‘I’ll get us some more,’ said Gayle.
‘No, let me.’ But Susanna wasn’t quick enough.
‘I’m capable of making some tea,’ Gayle insisted, standing up. She briefly rested her hands on the back of her chair. ‘I’ll bring back those last few mini-Eton mess puddings, shall I?’
‘Good idea,’ said Susanna, watching as Gayle walked slowly around the back of the counter and towards the kitchen.
‘I’ve had about five different desserts today, not sure how I’ll go with fitting anything else in,’ said Louisa, in an attempt to lighten the conversation.
‘You’ll manage. The Eton mess, from what I remember, is very light and very good.’
Conversation lapsed without Gayle until Louisa eventually said, ‘Gayle told me you lost your mum when you were very young. I’m really sorry.’
‘Thank you. I remember quite a bit about her, Addie not so much, which always makes me sad. She remembers more about Dad.’
Her comment lulled them both into silence again.
‘Is your mum okay with you being here?’ Susanna asked for want of anything better to say, because no matter whether an affair took place, it wasn’t Louisa’s fault. And by the sounds of it, it was incredibly brief, a mistake. One anyone could make. After all, she’d almost done it with Mateo this evening. If she hadn’t stopped that kiss…
‘Mum supports me being here.’ Louisa smiled. ‘We’re very close.’
‘Did she ever meet anyone else?’
She shook her head. ‘No, which always made me a little sad.’
‘Are you with anyone?’
‘Currently single.’ Louisa smiled. ‘Gayle tells me you’re married.’
‘Yes, to Alex. We live in Cambridge.’ And she desperately hoped that wouldn’t change.
‘And you’re a solicitor?’
‘I am. And what do you do? You probably know lots about us, but we know nothing about you.’
‘I did a degree in drama. I was a bit stuck as to what I wanted to do, and that seemed like fun. It never led to steady work, though. I’ve had some different jobs. I worked at a ticket office for a while, then helped out with a theatre group, but lately I’ve been picking up work here and there at garden centres. I love gardening. I hadn’t realised quite how much until I started doing it at my mum’s when I was stuck at home so long during lockdown.’
‘Finding something you love is half the battle.’ And it reminded her how much Addie had loved to bake and how her life might have turned out very differently if she hadn’t been so encouraged to leave the island and pursue an academic path.
