‘Oh, I’ve messed this up good and proper. I should’ve done it differently.’
‘I’m not sure anything would’ve lessened the shock.’
‘I should’ve done italldifferently.’
Susanna’s eyes filled with tears. The remorse in Gayle’s voice stopped her anger rising and when she thought about Addie, how much she’d tried to protect her over the years, how her choices had become Addie’s, this all felt like too much. ‘It wasn’t all your fault, you know.’
Surprised, Gayle looked across at her niece.
‘I bet you never thought you’d hear me say that.’ And right now, no matter the revelations, it felt like a good time to admit that things hadn’t been so clear-cut back then.
Gayle’s expression softened. ‘I knew deep down you had a good heart. You were just angry at the world, and I got in the way.’
‘I should’ve given you more of a chance, I should’ve let Addie be more independent.’ She looked around the Sweet Life Café. ‘I remember how often we’d come here and wait for you to finish up your working day. I think the smell of pudding was in the walls, it was always so comforting.’
‘I thought you always hated it here.’
‘I never hated it. I resisted it. There’s a difference.’ She remembered fond things about living here. She’d tried to block them all out, but lately they were creeping back in. ‘Do you remember joking that the Raffertys would always do pudding before dinner?’
Gayle’s distress was replaced with a smile of her own. ‘I do remember that. I thought it was a little bit of fun.’
‘Even that I tried to resist, thought I knew best, that you were being irresponsible to teach us such a thing.’
‘You were forced to grow up too quickly when you lost your parents.’
Louisa emerged with a tray holding three mugs, a teapot, a little jug of milk, a small bowl of sugar cubes, and spoons. She looked nervous, unsure of herself.
Susanna picked up the teapot. ‘Let me.’ As she poured them each a cup, nobody said a word.
At last, with her cup of comforting tea in front of her, Susanna explained, ‘I’ve known about Dad’s affair since I was eleven years old.’
‘Oh, Susanna.’ Gayle shivered.
Susanna prompted Gayle to drink the tea. She looked pale. Perhaps it was the shock, the panic that Susanna was going to get mad with her at this latest revelation. Maybe she remembered how mad she’d got over Mateo, how she’d yelled at her aunt, told her she couldn’t wait to leave this shitty island.
‘I’ll go get your cardigan from the kitchen,’ said Louisa and went off to fetch it.
‘Did Addie always know too?’ Gayle asked desperately, when it was just the two of them.
She shook her head. ‘Addie has always had Dad on a pedestal. I never wanted to ruin that for her. What would’ve been the point? I kept it to myself.’
‘You always protected your sister. You always looked out for her.’
‘I probably did it too much. And now she’s upset, especially with me for withholding the truth. That’s why she ran off tonight.’
‘She’ll forgive you, of that, I’m sure. But she just learned her dad wasn’t infallible.’ A look of concern passed across her face. ‘This explains a little why Addie always talked about Harry with such devotion and you always… Well, you held back a bit.’
‘It’s not that I hated him for it. I was angry, but I still loved him.’
‘Of course you did,’ said Gayle as Louisa returned with the cardigan and wrapped it around her shoulders.
Louisa sat down again and finally she spoke. ‘I’m sorry, Susanna. About all of this.’
‘You don’t need to be sorry.’
‘But I am. It must’ve been horrid to find out about me before Gayle and I had the chance to explain it all. We’ve been getting to know each other and wanted to do it right. I hate that it backfired.’
Gayle frowned. ‘Come to think of it, howdidyou find out?’ she asked Susanna. ‘You said you were going through things in the attic. What was there?’
