‘I don’t want to destroy someone else’s world.’
Lily smiled. ‘You’re my daughter, all right. That’s why I didn’t tell Harry for a long time.’
‘And when you did, you heard nothing back from him. He’s clearly not interested. And that’s fine.’
But it wasn’t fine. It never really had been. It had just taken her a while to admit to herself and to her mum that it stung.
Over the last nine months, ever since a friend of hers had made contact with her birth parents and talked about it with such positivity, Louisa had started to think about things a little differently. Her mother had sent a letter, but what if the letter had been lost in the post? Or what if Harry’s wife had opened it first and destroyed it? Or it could’ve been thrown away with the junk mail. She knew that happened because she’d accidentally binned a birthday card from one of her best friends last year and had to go fish it out of the recycling bin.
They’d had a long talk about it, her and her mum, and together they decided that Louisa would try to find Harry Rafferty. Discovering that he’d died had upset her more than she ever thought it would. She’d never known him after all, but in that moment she’d known that she never would. She’d shed tears for a man who had never been her dad, not really, and her mother had comforted her.
They’d started talking more about Harry’s sister, who they knew from their search for Harry was still alive. They knew where she lived and the business she owned.
‘Harry was devastated that his sister didn’t want to run the café with him,’ her mum had said. ‘He told me they’d always got on so well, but that had driven a wedge between them. He said that his sister’s business took off, but the café had ended up losing money and he wasn’t able to keep it going. At the same time, the Sweet Life Café was going from strength to strength, and it made him feel like more of a failure. He’d not visited his sister for a long time as a result of his jealousy. It’s very sad.’
‘You really talked to him, didn’t you?’ Louisa had said.
‘In the short time we knew each other, yes. I think that’s why he had an affair. His life was messy, he felt like a failure in so many ways, and never wanted his wife to think he was. What started off as the two of us talking and confiding went further than it should have.’
That day, Louisa had decided she was going to find Gayle Rafferty and she was glad she had.
The only thing she was worried about now it was almost 4p.m. was meeting two of Gayle’s guests in particular. Because after today’s event, she and Gayle were going to sit down with Susanna and Addie and tell them the truth.
People began to arrive. Gayle was here at last and greeting everyone at the door as they came inside.
When Susanna and Addie Rafferty came into the café, plenty of people were happy to see them. They had hugs from so many different people, and as Louisa turned from the counter where she’d placed a fresh tray of glasses ready to serve drinks, she caught Susanna’s eye.
And in a few seconds, she felt her insides plummet. Because judging by the way Susanna was looking at her, she got the distinct impression that Susanna didn’t need to be told who she was.
Somehow, she had already found out.
23
GAYLE
All these people were here for her. Gathered in the Sweet Life Café, friends from all around the island had turned up wearing bright clothes – pinks, mauves, turquoise, bright yellow – as per the part of the invite she’d actually got right. And it wasn’t until this moment she realised how emotional she was going to feel, especially seeing Susanna and Addie come inside.
Last night, Addie had wanted to know all about the puddings that would be served today. In fact, after Susanna went to bed, they’d talked at length even though Gayle was fast running out of energy and had had to fight her tiredness and nausea, if only to treasure the time with her niece. They’d talked recipes, the trials and errors making various puddings, and Gayle had embraced wholeheartedly the feeling that Addie had never lost the joy of baking. She hadn’t totally ruined that for her niece, and as they’d chatted she’d brought to mind the memories of Addie coming into the café, excitedly pulling on one of their aprons and waltzing about like she was always meant to be there.
She smiled across at Addie. Then she caught sight of Mateo as he came into the café wearing the gaudiest Hawaiian shirt she’d ever seen. He winked at her the way he’d done in his younger years once they got past their clash over Susanna. She didn’t see him for a long time after he and Susanna ended their relationship – she was pretty sure he avoided her on purpose, even when he returned to the island – but then one day a few years after their conversation at the marina, he came into the café. She’d expected him to confront her, mention what had happened, but instead he’d simply placed an order for an apple and blueberry crumble that he intended to take to his mother’s place that evening. He’d come in regularly after that and she’d come to like chatting to the man who was refreshingly uncomplicated and polite.
She looked around again. It seemed as though everyone was here.
Should she open the door? It was already rather hot in here.
‘Let me,’ said Nancy, reading her mind. Or perhaps she’d noticed Gayle flapping the frilly collar of her cerise blouse.
Once the door was open, Gayle knew it was time for her to say a few words. She moved along the counter so she was more in the centre and facing the doorway and the crowds. She was nervous and had almost talked herself out of doing this, but she was honestly so grateful for all these people in her life that it wouldn’t feel right not to say something to that effect.
She tapped the side of her plate with her spoon, having barely touched the piece of summer pudding that lay on top.
She set the plate down once the room quietened and reached for a glass of water. Her mouth was so dry, probably from the nerves she was feeling, even more so now the gathering was underway. ‘Thank you, everyone, for coming along today,’ she began.
‘She’s alive!’ came a cry from someone in one of the booths, local doctor, Chas, calling through both of his hands.
It might have been funny had she not pulled the wool over her nieces’ eyes to get them here. Gayle nodded in Chas’s direction and only looked at Susanna and then Addie as she said, ‘My sincerest apologies for scaring everyone with my enormous faux pas on the invites. I’m not sure I’ll ever live it down, but I thank every single person who has come here today.’ She hesitated. ‘It means a great deal to me.’
This was harder than she thought. But she didn’t want to get upset, she didn’t want this to be a miserable affair where she thought about her regrets, and everyone felt bad for her. The whole point of the living funeral was to celebrate, to feel joy, to smile, with everyone she cared about, and by God she was going to do that if it really was the last thing she did.
