‘Going where?’
‘To the living funeral.’
Addie put down her spoon. ‘I think we should. And I think I want to.’ She hesitated. ‘How about you?’
If Addie wanted to go, she didn’t want to let her sister down. ‘I still can’t quite get my head around the idea, but I’ll try.’
They left it at that, and Susanna headed out, closing the door to the cottage behind her.
As she walked, she thought about the different way she and her sister viewed the island and their time here. She thought about their difference of opinion when it came to their dad too.
Over the years she’d been tempted to tell Addie the truth about their dad more than once, but she’d always held back so she didn’t cause her younger sister any more pain. And Harry hadn’t been a terrible dad. Far from it – he just wasn’t perfect. Nobody was. Least of all her with her marriage possibly in trouble and her thoughts about another man that had risen to the surface ever since she came back here.
She made her way along the coastal path and as she caught sight of the stunning view her phone pinged, bringing her back to reality and away from the refreshing autumn breeze.
It was Alex, returning her text from this morning. By the time he’d answered her call last night she was already tucked up in bed, so he’d sent her a text rather than phoning and in the message, he’d apologised for being so busy.
She texted him back, said she’d call tomorrow as he had mentioned he was heading into the practice early this morning. She wondered, was it another excuse? Was he putting off talking to her? She wished he would just tell her what was going on, she wished they’d have a massive row, and the truth would come out. At least then she’d know what she was dealing with.
She looked out across the sea, but it wasn’t long before her feet took her down the steps all the way to the street, where she turned left and made her way towards the marina and the harbour beyond. She knew there was a high chance of seeing Mateo, and it took only moments to spot him. She hoped it wouldn’t look like she’d gone down there on purpose, but they had a history and after the way things had ended she wanted to at least make peace. That way, if they were staying for the living funeral, there would be no awkwardness, nothing left unsaid.
Mateo jumped down from the edge of a boat, turned back to rest a tool on its body, and came over. His once shaggy mop of dirty blond hair was mostly grey now, and his skin showed more weathered creases from the harsh sunlight he was so often under out on the water.
‘It’s good to see you again,’ he said, squinting against the sun until he pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes. His smile hadn’t changed one bit.
‘You too.’ But she wished she couldn’t remember how good it had felt to be in his arms, she wished he’d lost any appeal, that he’d stacked on the weight or something – anything to make him completely unattractive. But his physical fitness and muscular forearms – as well as the way he looked at her like she was the only person who mattered – were just as alluring as they’d always been.
‘Where are you off to?’ He pulled out a rag from his back pocket and wiped some grease from his fingers.
‘I’m having a wander, that’s all. We’ve been sorting out boxes from the attic, and it’s a big job.’
‘Always is. Attics are where you lob everything you don’t know what to do with.’
She tugged her hair behind both ears, but it didn’t stay put – the wind had other ideas and blew it right back again. ‘We’re really going through our dad’s stuff rather than our own old memories.’
‘Your dad’s stuff?’
‘I know, it’s been up there a while.’
His gaze flitted over to a colleague and he held up one hand, fingers spread out to indicate he’d be five minutes. ‘I thought you and your sister would’ve had everything sent to the mainland a long time ago.’
‘That’s probably what we should’ve done. I expected Gayle to send them, to be honest, have a clear out.’ When he hesitated, she asked, ‘What was that look for?’
‘There was no look.’
She smiled. ‘There was definitely a look.’
‘She missed you, you know.’
‘I thought she’d be glad to get her freedom back.’
‘If you really believed that I don’t think you’d be here in the first place.’
His words stung because he was right. And it was a reminder that this had never been black and white. It had never been all Gayle’s fault, even though as a teenager that was exactly how she’d seen it. All that time she’d blamed Gayle for everything, and it was only after she left that she realised some of it had been her fault.
‘Tell me something,’ he said.
‘Okay.’
