‘They both did.’ Addie gulped. ‘I often wonder whether what Dad had is in our genes. Do you?’
‘Pancreatic cancer?’ Susanna always looked so together, but not in this moment. ‘I worry about that sometimes. It’s one of those things that’s hard to detect early.’ She stood up. ‘I don’t know about you, but I could use a break.’ She brushed her hands together. If they were anything like Addie’s, they were sticky with dust and old belongings, and held on to that musty smell that had developed on these old things over time.
‘Me too,’ said Addie. ‘Tea?’
‘Sounds good.’
‘And a third oatmeal and raisin cookie?’
Susanna grinned. ‘Now we’re talking.’
As they both enjoyed yet another cookie, they decided that was quite enough sorting out for one day.
‘I’ve got a bit of work to do,’ said Susanna. ‘I know it’s boring, but it’s better I keep up with it.’
‘Go for it. I’ll head out for a walk.’
With only eight days to go to the living funeral, her and Susanna were going to have to decide whether they were staying or not. But should they make the decision together? Or was this one of those times when Addie needed to do what was right for her? She hadn’t always done that, and she’d had to live with her regrets.
Addie headed out and walked to the trail that led around the island to the point which gave a decent view. Without the rush of a commute and getting Isaac to and from childcare, the days here seemed to stretch endlessly. Or perhaps that was because she was out of her routine.
She stayed in her viewing spot for a while, absorbing what it felt like to be here once more, thinking about the day she left, contemplating how her life had turned out since she moved to London.
Ready to move on, she decided to do a loop. She took the steps down to the road with the harbour, walked all the way along and stood to watch another ferry coming in with holidaymakers and probably locals on board. She walked past the minibus waiting for passengers to cram themselves on board and save the effort of a walk up the hill. And then she walked up the hill just like they had the night they returned. Her legs were burning by the time she got to the top and made her way along Bay Street. London was relatively flat; the hills here were a reminder that not everywhere was.
She stopped walking when the Sweet Life Café came into view. She was yet to go inside, and she knew Susanna hadn’t either.
Addie and her sister had differing views when it came to their dad, and although they didn’t discuss it, they had differing views when it came to their aunt, her café and this island.
Addie hadn’t wanted to leave Oxford, but slowly she’d begun to feel a little more settled here despite her sister resisting this as being their home. She settled into the school and had some good friends, all of whom got the ferry together each day to the high school on Jersey. The first time Addie had made the trek she’d felt so grown up, so free. And being able to go to the beach without a chaperone was another inch of freedom she’d grabbed with both hands. She went with her friends to the pebbly beach on the island and the natural swimming spot, she tried fishing with her friends although she wasn’t any good, and she gradually realised she could be happy here on Anchor Island.
While Susanna remembered Gayle being obsessed with the Sweet Life Café and working all hours, Addie remembered Gayle taking her shopping, taking days off here and there to spend time with her. Susanna remembered having to babysit her younger sister after school, but Addie remembered being at the café together and Gayle doing her utmost to see to her customers yet with one eye on Addie and a look of regret that she couldn’t let Susanna go off with her friends when she had to go to work. Susanna remembered Aunt Gayle splitting her and Mateo up, a fact she’d never forgiven their aunt for, but Addie remembered Aunt Gayle talking to Susanna about school, pointing out the importance of not skipping classes and keeping up on homework to give herself a decent future. The future she had always wanted and never kept a secret.
What Addie most remembered, though, was baking. The day Susanna left for university, Addie and Gayle had seen the ferry off from the harbour. Addie had cried, Gayle had wiped away a tear and they’d both waved as the boat got further and further away. By that time Susanna was speaking to Gayle, but it was never a flowing conversation. Since she stopped seeing Mateo it seemed her sister was angry with the whole world. Addie would never tell Susanna, but when she left it had come with a little feeling of relief.
‘Right, Addie, what shall we do?’ Gayle had asked brightly as they left the harbour that day. ‘Nancy says I can take as long as I need. I know this is tough for you.’
‘I’m okay. She’s going to be happy.’
Gayle gripped her hand firmly. ‘Yes, I do believe she will be.’ She cleared her throat. ‘So come on, what’s it to be? We could go for a walk around the island, or we could catch a ferry across to Guernsey or even Sark if you fancied it.’
‘There is something I want to do, Aunt Gayle.’
‘You name it.’
She smiled, shared her wish, and they spent the rest of the day in the Sweet Life Café, Addie in the kitchen helping out and waiting on tables when she was required, even mixing up some cake batter with Gayle. She got to sprinkle crumble mix on top of stewed apples, she rolled out pastry to make the top of a berry pie, she helped wash up and she served her first customer. And at the end of their day, she even had time for a big serving of lemon and elderflower drizzle pudding with a big blob of cream on the side.
Addie itched to go inside the Sweet Life Café now, and yet somehow her feet just wouldn’t take her there some twenty years after she’d left it behind. Instead, her feet took her all the way home where she found Susanna getting dinner underway. This evening would be roast lamb, a proper family meal. Addie jumped right in to help and between them they prepared the vegetables, peeled potatoes and laid the table. And when Aunt Gayle came home, they ate together. And Gayle wasn’t at all put out that Addie had baked the oatmeal and raisin cookies. She simply slotted the pie she’d brought home for pudding into the fridge and declared that tonight’s second course would be cookies. If there were any left.
They’d had a laugh at her remark, the fact Susanna had now eaten four cookies, but conversation was still strained the way it had been since they’d arrived. Nobody wanted to address the past nor look at the future – it was as though they were all too afraid at what they might say or hear.
Eventually Gayle said she’d had a busy day and with her looking undoubtedly tired, Addie and Susanna insisted they would wash up and Gayle went off to bed.
Perhaps tonight had been another small step in the right direction for them all.
At least, that was what she hoped.
17
