‘Maybe that will change if you get to know her again.’ Louisa oozed a positivity Gayle didn’t feel.
‘If she gives me a chance, then maybe.’
The girls were here, they were going through their dad’s things at last, but after that? Who knew what would happen when they found out what else she was keeping from them.
It might just push them even further away.
15
SUSANNA
Susanna was getting used to these morning walks. She’d been doing them since the first day she woke up back here on Anchor Island.
It felt good now to be out and about. The drizzle from earlier had passed, the mist had lifted, and although the leaves on the trees clung to drips of rain before releasing them to the ground, the sunshine gracing the skies now acted as if it had been out in force the whole time.
Over the last couple of days Susanna and Addie had hauled boxes from the attic and stacked them against the wall in Susanna’s bedroom, ready to sort through. It had been an unspoken agreement, but Susanna suspected Addie felt much like she did – that after the shock of Gayle dying then coming back to life before their very eyes, as well as being on the island after all these years, they needed to get their heads around things before they plunged into all their memories that those boxes no doubt contained.
In between the sorting out, Susanna had got some work done and also walked a bit with Addie. They’d shared the cooking of the dinners at the cottage too and there’d been an unspoken peace under Gayle’s roof, with all of them taking it one step at a time.
Today she turned the same way as she usually did onto Bay Street. She joined the track that went all the way around the island, her intention being to do the full walk which would take around three hours. But as she passed the top of the steps that cut down to the harbour street below, she found her feet taking her in that direction before she could change her mind. This would be the first time she’d been near the harbour or the marina since the evening they arrived, but she doubted anyone would recognise her with her sunglasses on, and more likely because of the decades that had passed since she was last here.
She bought herself a coffee from a little venue near the fish and chip shop and headed towards the green space near the marina. She was glad she had a jumper on, although she suspected she’d need another layer if she was back in Cambridge. Despite the sea breezes, the island’s more southerly location meant that it was often warmer than England. She could recall some beautiful summers here. When they’d first arrived, they’d been heading into winter which added to the gloom she’d felt, but despite her resistance to the island she’d never forgotten her first blast of warm weather with the island’s gloriously long days, the blistering sun, and what it had felt like to finally get into the clear waters and have a swim.
Aunt Gayle had watched them like a hawk that first summer and the girls were never allowed to go down to the bay without her. The water was dangerous, she’d told them. Both girls had had swimming lessons, but by their own admission they’d stopped going to those as soon as they could stay afloat. Addie had treated Isaac differently, or maybe that was what kids did nowadays – they didn’t just learn to swim, they got strong in the water. But if she’d done that, she may never have met Alex.
Triggered by her memory, she picked up her phone to call her husband but changed her mind as she reached the green space. She had her eye on one of the picnic benches, most of which were empty this morning. She’d spoken to Alex last night, so she’d leave it until later – she didn’t want to be the source of more tension if he thought she was checking up on him.
The gulls soared overhead, and she watched one go for a man’s food. He waved his hands at the gull and yelled at it to get away. She almost laughed, but knew those gulls could be vicious – she remembered one knocking her sandwich right out of her hands one day while she was sitting on one of the island’s perimeter path benches. She would’ve cried if it hadn’t been for friends laughing and making her see the funny side. She’d gone to the Sweet Life Café after that, and when Aunt Gayle asked what was wrong, she’d burst into tears. It was the first time she showed the vulnerability she’d done her best to hide. Aunt Gayle had sat her down and given her an enormous serving of steamed sponge pudding with honey butterscotch sauce, and even sat there with her despite how busy the café was.
She’d totally forgotten about that moment until now.
She stepped onto the grassy bank to head towards a picnic bench, but somehow she didn’t judge the gradient too well and the next thing she knew, her feet went from under her. Her coffee and phone went flying, but two arms grabbed her from behind right before she hit the grass.
And when she turned around, she came face to face with her past.
Mateo Collins. Her first love and the man she hadn’t seen in over two decades.
Since the first day she saw Mateo at the Sweet Life Café when she was the tender age of seventeen, Susanna had been unable to get him from her mind. Every day she’d linger down near the marina and try to spot him, but she never seemed to have any luck. She didn’t see him again until a couple of weeks after their initial encounter, when she was returning to the island after school. The ferry crossing had been the worst she’d ever experienced – it was the first time she’d had seasickness, and he’d seen her walking away from the busy harbour. He’d led her over to a picnic bench, sat her down, and ran to get her a bottle of water.
When he came back to her side she smiled. He’d gone to the fish and chip shop for the water, and she knew he was trying to hide a cone of chips behind his back because she could smell them. He also had a grain of salt on his bottom lip that she waited for him to lick off.
‘You don’t have to hide them,’ she’d said.
He pulled a face. ‘Thought they might make you more queasy.’ He gestured for her to drink the water. ‘I had to get something. I was about to head there anyway until I saw you looking wobbly and as if you might puke at any second. I’ve been working on boats all day and I’m starving.’ He pulled the cone into view. ‘I’m Mateo, by the way.’
‘Susanna.’ She didn’t say that she already knew his name, and had remembered it ever since the first day she heard it.
‘Your aunt owns the Sweet Life Café, doesn’t she?’
Did he remember seeing her in there? Her tummy was doing somersaults just thinking about it, and she didn’t know what else to say. ‘She does.’
He ate more of the chips, and she tried to take some calming breaths, sipping slowly from the bottle of water.
He offered her the last chip. ‘Might make you feel better,’ he said.
‘Might make me actually be sick,’ she replied.
But he still held the cone in her direction. She took the chip, and it went better than she thought because she managed to keep it down.
