She could still remember her first day here. She’d sat in her bedroom – well, a room anyway – at the top of a ramshackle cottage far away from the mainland, her school, her friends. She and Addie had lost everything – their mum, their dad, their home. It was just the two of them now. No matter that Aunt Gayle was their guardian, she would never take the place of either of their parents. She was fourteen years old, she was here, but she had a plan. When she was eighteen, she could do what she liked and she was going to get far, far away from here, from a woman who was a stranger, a woman her dad hadn’t seen eye to eye with, from the place she’d never wanted to come to.
That day she’d opened the little velvet pouch she’d kept in her rucksack and took out her mother’s brooch. Her dad had given it to her, and another brooch to Addie, when their mum died. Susanna could still remember the first time she wore it, long before it belonged to her. Her mum had given it to her to wear when her nerves were frayed one night when she was about to perform with the school orchestra. She played the violin, usually well, but not with an audience and that night she’d been convinced that she would mess up. Her mother had simply unpinned her brooch from her blouse, pinned it on Susanna’s school shirt, and told her she could never mess up in her mother’s eyes. The day she arrived on the island she’d held on to the brooch like a talisman as she curled onto her side and let her tears soak into her pillow.
Susanna had stayed in her bedroom a lot when she first came to the island. Inside its blue walls at least the room was a place of her own, a place she could be herself. She’d started school, she’d begun to make friends and she started to try to find some sort of happy, even though it wasn’t the same here as it had been in Oxford.
One morning, a few weeks after their arrival on Anchor Island, Aunt Gayle summoned the sisters downstairs and into the kitchen. On some days Susanna found herself tempted to reach out to her aunt for a comforting hug, to know that she was safe; on other days she thought of Aunt Gayle as the devil and wanted to keep her distance.
‘I have something for you both,’ Gayle announced.
The girls followed her to the back door and out into the sunshine. Addie’s hand slipped into Susanna’s; she’d been clingy since they lost their dad. She’d only just started sleeping in her own bedroom, having been sneaking into Susanna’s in the middle of the night ever since they’d arrived at the cottage. They’d curl up together in the little bed and fall asleep that way and whisper that they’d always be there for each other.
With Addie’s hand still in hers they followed Gayle to the shed at the side of the cottage. In front of it were two bikes, one red, one blue.
‘Everyone cycles or walks on the island,’ Aunt Gayle told them. ‘I think bicycles are a lot of fun.’
‘Do you have a bike?’ Addie asked their aunt.
‘I do, and I ride it when I can. I love the way the wind rushes past me if I go fast enough.’
Addie giggled. ‘I like going fast. But I have to wear a helmet.’
‘Right… Do you each have a helmet?’
‘I outgrew mine. So did Addie,’ Susanna informed her.
‘Then I’ll order some from the mainland,’ said Gayle.
‘They might not fit,’ Susanna told her.
‘Then why don’t I take you both to Guernsey tomorrow and we can shop for them there?’ their aunt suggested.
Susanna kept Addie’s hand in hers. ‘We have school.’
‘Right.’ But then her face brightened. ‘I’ll bring Addie after school to meet you in Guernsey and we’ll get the ferry back together. How does that sound?’
Susanna felt Addie let go of her hand, and she watched as her sister went over to admire the smaller of the two bikes, the red one. She pushed one leg over the crossbar so she was straddling her bike.
Aunt Gayle opened the door to the shed. ‘I have a spanner I can use to adjust the saddle and handlebars.’ She briefly disappeared inside.
Susanna put her hand out for the spanner when Aunt Gayle joined them outside again. ‘I’ll do it. Dad showed me how.’
That day, Susanna had barely raised a smile, and she hadn’t looked happy when they went shopping for helmets either. And when Addie climbed onto her bike for the first ride and said thank you for about the twentieth time, Susanna’s mouth went dry and she couldn’t speak.
‘Stick to the trails,’ Gayle told the girls that day. ‘Avoid the roads, even though there isn’t traffic. The trails are better to start with.’
‘Okay,’ said Addie.
‘I’ll look after her,’ Susanna muttered, hitching her bottom onto her saddle, her bike slightly tilted, with one foot on the ground.
‘Is your saddle the right height?’ Gayle asked.
‘It’s fine.’ Susanna edged closer to her sister. ‘You can go in front of me, Addie.’
‘I’m the leader?’
‘Yes. I need to see you to make sure you’re safe,’ she said. ‘But don’t go too fast.’
‘I won’t speed.’ Addie grinned and turned to Aunt Gayle. ‘Why don’t you come with us?’
