He waited for Lucinda to hug Carys goodbye and then after she’d picked up her bags and gone out of the front door, he felt the tension dissipate from himself and the house too.
Hudson had intended to give Beau a chance to calm down before he went up to knock on his door but Beau came downstairs of his own accord soon after his mum left.
Carys ran over to him and he scooped her up.
‘It’s past her bedtime,’ said Hudson. She was rubbing at her eyes as she leant against her brother’s chest and nuzzled into his neck.
Beau sat down, Carys still on his lap. ‘Mum left?’
‘You know she did or you wouldn’t have come down.’
He tried but failed to hide the little turn up at the corners of his mouth.
As Carys leaned against her brother, her eyes almost closed by now, Beau blurted out, ‘I was part of the prank because I wanted to get back at you.’
‘Get back at me?’
‘You were never here. All of a sudden, you’d gone back to working all the time, Mum left, I was angry. Like all the time.’
‘I know you were. And I understand why.’ And now it felt good that his son was finally being honest and telling him how he really felt. ‘I had no choice though, Beau. I upped my hours because I had to. Running a household and raising kids is expensive and it’ll only get more so as you two get older. There are always things to pay for – school excursions for you, uniforms, playgroups, childcare. It’ll be driving lessons for you soon enough, then university if that’s what you decide. And we’ll have to do it all over again for Carys. Don’t get me wrong, me and your mother want to do those things, but it’s hard to do when you live separately and your mum isn’t responsible for me. I have to earn my own money for the things that I need, or things that I might want.’
‘Mum always loved her job more than us.’ Beau, if it were possible, held Carys a little tighter, although Hudson suspected that was only in his imagination. ‘It made me feel as if the same would eventually happen with you.’
‘What? No way. Never, Beau. I promise. And also, it isn’t true to say your mum loves her job more than you. She does love her work, yes, and she’s always been career driven. You might not see it but if she really did love the job more than you and your sister then she’d never be here; she would’ve walked out and not looked back. I’d have let her too.
‘You know I felt like the luckiest dad alive when I got to stay home with you guys so much as your mum was happy to work. I’m not blowing my own trumpet here but parenting came more naturally to me than it did to Lucinda. So we agreed, she would work, I would be your primary carer. She does try, though; do you see that?’
Beau nodded. ‘I miss the time we used to spend together.’
‘You and your mum?’
‘Me and you.’
‘We spend a lot of time together.’
‘I don’t mean at home.’
It didn’t take long to realise what he meant. ‘You’re talking about the camping and the fishing trips.’
‘Yeah, I miss those.’
‘They were fun.’ Hudson couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before, that somehow those trips had dwindled away, the memories becoming just that: memories, the past. And over time, he’d got so busy, he hadn’t even thought about doing it again.
‘I couldn’t understand why we didn’t go. I knew you had work, but I thought if Mum could take Carys on a weekend, we’d still do it. But we never did.’
Hudson watched his son. ‘The divorce didn’t just affect your mother and me; I’m realising just how much it affected you and for that, I’m sorry.’
‘Someone once told me that an apology could go a long way.’ Beau began to smile and Hudson laughed.
‘Someone very wise?’
‘Old and wise.’
‘Cheek.’ Hudson had missed the banter between them. But it wasn’t too late to see the young boy hidden behind a lot of anger and fear at the world around him changing. ‘After your mum and I separated, life kind of spun around for a while and all I couldfocus on was survival, getting money in the bank and food on the table, making sure you two were all right.’
Beau shrugged. ‘It’s okay.’
‘No, it isn’t.’ But he did have an idea. ‘Your gran and grandad wanted to have you kids over for a barbecue tomorrow straight from school seeing as it’s Friday. They’re making those burgers you like with the homemade relish.’
