‘You’re so bloody perfect! You don’t struggle with anything and it’s not fair. You sailed through school; you’re doing the same at university now. You’ve no idea what it’s like for me, getting behind, not able to catch up.’
‘It might help if you turned up to the tutor sessions.’
She swore at Nadia then and Nadia saw red.
‘You need to stop blaming everyone else apart from yourself, Monica. Take some responsibility for once!’
Their talk ended with Nadia leaving and receiving a slam of the bedroom door behind her.
Her mum didn’t even ask about the row she surely must have heard in the quiet of the house. Voices carried after all. But her mum was mending the hem on Monica’s school dress when Nadia went downstairs to sit with her and keep her company watching television. She had study to do, but tonight, she’d stay here a while longer even if her mum didn’t want to talk. And she’d made it pretty clear she didn’t want to do that – when it came to Monica, their mother wasn’t just blinkered; she was blindfolded. Monica could do no wrong and whenever Nadia mentioned anything, she had an explanation, an excuse – Monica had problems and Nadia needed to understand, Nadia shouldn’t make this into a drama, Nadia should leave her little sister alone. It was hard not to begrudge those things when her mum said them, when she wasn’t the one doing anything wrong.
Monica’s behaviour didn’t change over the months, nor over the next couple of years as she struggled to finish school. Nadia was relieved every time she returned to university, to a world away, a world that was her own as she continued studying for her nursing degree.
Nadia met Archie during her time studying at university in Zurich and it wasn’t long before they became firm friends. One winter, in his quest to see Geneva where Nadia’s family lived – he lived in Basel although British too – and because his ownfamily were jetting off to America to share the festive season with his brother who had relocated over there, he made the choice to stay in Switzerland and manage his studies and share Christmas with his friend.
Nadia had taken Archie to spend Christmas at her house.
‘It’s lovely to have you with us,’ her mother told him before she wrapped Nadia in a hug that lasted and lasted.
Nadia and Archie had been to several university parties over the last few days and one last night so had driven to the house that morning. It was good to be here. Over the last few months, Nadia and her mother had talked a lot. The distance now Nadia had moved out had brought them closer with even an apology from her mum at how her attentions had been on Monica when they should’ve been shared between both of her daughters. Nadia had forgiven her, of course, but she didn’t find it so easy to move on from Monica’s manipulations over the years. And every time she came home, she could see that their mother was still totally blind to Monica’s faults.
Monica was by now eighteen, Nadia twenty-two, and Monica still had no plan of what to do with her life. Well, she did: she wanted a year out from education before she did anything else.
‘Where is she going?’ Nadia asked as her mum covered the turkey with foil and slotted the roasting tin into the oven.
‘Going?’ She tugged off her oven gloves and set them on the side.
‘On her year out.’
‘Oh, I don’t think she’s planned to go anywhere.’
‘Nope, no ideas yet,’ came Monica’s voice from behind her. ‘Hey, sis.’
‘Hey.’ Nadia smiled. She wasn’t going to dig any deeper about the year out; she didn’t want any unnecessary tension, especially with Archie as a guest: Archie who was in the bathroom and knew a bit about the sibling rivalry but not all of it. She onlyhoped a guest might help her sister to behave better. Perhaps this year, she wouldn’t be rolling joints in her bedroom thinking they had all lost their sense of smell when the aroma drifted down the stairs.
Monica picked up a piece of carrot from the chopping board and crunched into it but stopped when Archie came through to join them.
Archie had had to duck slightly to get beneath the door frame and Nadia didn’t miss it: her sister was enthralled by their house guest.
‘I heard you were bringing someone home.’ Monica beamed in Archie’s direction.
‘Monica, this is Archie, my friend.’
‘Friend?’
‘Yes, friend.’
‘With benefits?’ Monica asked.
‘Monica!’ Their mother apologised to Archie and reprimanded her youngest daughter. ‘Polite, remember.’
‘Oh, I’m joking,’ she said but one look in Nadia’s direction and Nadia knew she had something up her sleeve; she was plotting something either for now or for later.
Nadia hadn’t liked the vibe one little bit and she should have taken it as a warning sign.
As Nadia finished recounting that Christmas in Switzerland to Hudson in the office at the airbase, he asked, ‘So, were you – just friends?’
‘We were at that point. But soon after we returned to university, we started seeing each other romantically. Both of us were twenty-two, neither of us had dated anyone serious; we were exploring things to see where they went, I guess.
