‘Upstairs and happier now we’ve been through some of his work. Maths is much harder than it ever was in our day… They do it all differently now.’
When he said nothing, she apologised again. ‘I’m sorry for turning up at bedtime.’ She rinsed her mug out at the sink and when she realised the dishwasher had only just finished its cycle, she left it beside the sink. Funny the routines you got into as husband and wife. He’d been the one to stack the dishwasher and put it on – she’d been working late so many times, it didn’t make sense for her to do it. Usually, she’d empty it when she came home, inevitably very late, and put anything he’d left beside the sink into the racks. But now it was all down to him. That and everything else around the house that had once been theirs but was now his only.
‘He might need some more help but it’ll have to wait until next week now,’ she said.
‘I thought you were having Beau stay this Saturday night; weren’t you going to take him to the movies?’
‘I have to go away with work again. I’ve told him, he says it’s fine.’
‘What he says is one thing, what he really thinks and feels is another.’
‘I have a career, Hudson. I won’t apologise for that.’
‘Didn’t ask you to.’
‘Beau says he understands and I think he’s mature enough to make up his own mind.’
‘He should always come before your job.’
She jutted out her chin. ‘You weren’t complaining about my job when you got to be a stay-at-home dad and then only returned part time. It suited you then.’
‘It suitedus, not just me. And what about this new guy you’re seeing? Beau doesn’t sound too keen.’
‘Beau isn’t dating him, is he? And he’s only been there once or twice when Beau was; they literally crossed paths very briefly.’
‘You should still consider how he feels.’
‘Stop lecturing me, would you.’ She rested her arms on the back of the chair and less snippily told him, ‘Like I said before, I don’t want a fight.’
‘Neither do I.’ Although sometimes, he did. Sometimes, he felt like having a big old shouting match to get out all his grievances for the lying over the years, the cheating, the way she still seemed to be putting herself first. But she’d come here to help Beau, she could’ve been cosied up with her new man, so perhaps he should start cutting her some slack and move on from everything she’d done to him during their marriage.
It might well be the only way to stay sane.
‘Did Carys settle okay?’ she asked him.
‘She did; I expect she’s asleep already.’
‘She still sleeps on her tummy after all this time.’
‘The same way Beau did.’ It had terrified them first with Beau and then with Carys. All the safety messages told you to put a baby to sleep on its back and they’d always followed the advice. But Beau and Carys both had other ideas as soon as they’d been able to move of their own accord.
It made him happy now to think of Lucinda watching their daughter sleep. Her love was still there, no matter how many times she let the children down by not turning up when she was supposed to or by putting off arrangements. He needed to remember the good things about her as well as her qualities that were beyond frustrating.
‘I’d better get going,’ she said. She left the kitchen and headed into the hallway where she bent down and picked up her bag. She came back, took out a bunch of keys, detached thehouse key from the loop and passed it to him. ‘Here… you should have this back.’
He nodded his thanks and she left.
After he locked up, he went to check on Carys before switching off her light and replacing it with the nightlight on the landing.
He hovered outside Beau’s bedroom on his way past.
His hand rose to knock, but he let it drop and instead headed back down the stairs. He’d let his son be for now, let him carry on with his work or whatever he was doing.
He picked up his phone from the kitchen table, started a new message with Nadia’s name in the address field. But after a few botched attempts, he gave up.
If she wanted to talk, she’d get in touch.
And if she didn’t, he’d just have to deal with it and go back to what they were. Friends. Colleagues.
