Bess was quick to put her arm around Nadia’s shoulders. ‘We’re quiet at the minute; you can always talk to me if you need to.’
They got back into the car at Bess’s suggestion.
‘Less likely to be interrupted this way,’ said Bess. ‘So come on, what’s the real reason seeing Lena is so tough?’ Bess had an incurable need to know what was going on with everyone, to make sure she understood them.
Nadia gazed out of the window. ‘I don’t have kids… but I was pregnant… twice.’ She steadied her voice. ‘I always wanted to be a mum, you know. It was something I saw in my future but for some reason, my body has always had a different idea.’
‘What happened?’
‘I fell pregnant when I was in a relationship during nursing college. It wasn’t planned, but I wasn’t sorry. And just when I was getting my head around the idea, I lost the baby to an ectopic pregnancy. The second time, I was married, but again I lost the baby. That time it was even more dangerous; I was lucky to survive.’
‘It must have been terrifying.’
‘It was, both times. And devastating. I was told I could still get pregnant again but I never tried. Things with my husband ended and apart from a couple of casual flings, I never found the right person to settle down with, certainly nobody I’d ever want to start a family with.’
Bess had reached for her hand. ‘I’m so sorry, Nadia.’
She squeezed her friend’s hand right back. ‘When we found Lena, all the time I’ve spent with her, the visit just now, it brings the heartbreak right back to me. I held her in my arms, she clung to my fingers, looked me right in the eye. But she isn’t mine, she never was, no baby ever?—’
Bess’s arms wrapped around her, calming her, reassuring her that she was there. She didn’t say that it was okay, she didn’t offer any platitudes, she just stayed by her side.
Nadia wiped her eyes with a tissue and checked her mascara in the visor mirror. ‘We’d better get inside.’
Bess didn’t move.
‘What’s wrong?’ She managed a smile. ‘I’m fine, really. I promise you.’
And then Bess looked her usual solid self, with a smile, with the assertiveness they all knew her for.
As they walked towards the entrance doors of the airbase, however, Nadia wasn’t convinced that everything was okay with Bess. Bess had listened to her and she wanted to do the same for her friend. ‘Are you sure everything is all right with you?’
‘I’m tired, that’s all. Just been busy lately.’
‘Ah, yes, didn’t you have Gio’s niece and nephew for a couple of days?’
‘It was one night, one exhausting night. I mean they’re great but they’re little energy balls, especially for two novices like us.’
They didn’t get to talk any more because a job came in and Bess leapt into action.
And Nadia felt the familiar comfort of her work, the team that felt like family, wrap around her.
It was the safety net she needed.
8
At the airbase the following day, Nadia finished her lunch in the kitchen. When she was done, she’d be spending a couple of hours liaising with the Whistlestop River Fire Service who were hosting tomorrow’s major incident training day. When the various disciplines – the air ambulance, fire brigade, road ambulance, and other first responders – came together, it was more often than not in a high-stress, time-critical environment. These major training days improved communication and broke down barriers. They typically involved a series of workshops as well as simulations of situations the crews could find themselves in. They’d hosted this sort of training at the airbase before, but it was the turn of the fire service this time round. And while it wasn’t to be held here, it was still part of Nadia’s job to help organise the training days, put together the workshop content and liaise with the fire brigade on how to run the scenarios both crews would face. The red team would be in attendance on day one with the blue team having their turn the following day.
When Nadia went into the office, Bess was already in there.
‘How are you feeling?’ Bess kept her voice low in case anyone sneaked in on them.
Nadia sat down at one of the desks. ‘I promise you, I’m fine.’
‘I’m glad you told me. You shouldn’t carry something like that on your own.’
Nadia got the impression Bess wanted to say something else but when she wasn’t very forthcoming, she decided to leave it alone. ‘You all set for tomorrow?’ she asked instead.
Bess leaned back in her chair, her hands scooping her riot of curls up at the back of her head. ‘I’m really looking forward to seeing what’s in store for us.’
