‘This is Gus. He tends to be a bit quiet when he’s just woken up. He’ll find his voice soon enough though. Why don’t you come on through,’ she said to Nadia before leading the way from the compact hallway into a dining room with a couple of highchairs and through to a small playroom with a wipe-clean sofa and toys neatly stacked in boxes around the edges. There was a large playmat on the hardwood floor, the sort made out of rubber in bright colours with pieces that came apart and slotted together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Lena was so content in the baby bouncer that Nadia almost didn’t spot her in the corner. She wasn’t yet old enough to be doing much at all but her eyes took in everything.
‘Lena, someone is here to see you,’ Sybil trilled.
Lena certainly knew her name or perhaps it was the playful, higher-pitched tone of her foster carer that made her look up at them.
Nadia crouched down beside Lena while Sybil nipped into the kitchen and came back with a little plastic plate lined with toast fingers. The toddler in her other arm reached out for one and sucked on it contentedly.
‘She looks well.’ Nadia watched Lena move her legs enough to make the bouncer go up and down slightly. She was nice and secure, cocooned in the soft insert, safe in the five-point safety harness that she couldn’t possibly fall out of.
‘She’s taken to the formula well and goes back to sleep easily enough during the night after a bit of a pat. She’s probably the easiest baby I’ve had in all my time as a foster carer. And given her start in the world…’
When Nadia reached out her hand, Lena’s little fingers found hers. ‘She has a strong grip.’
‘I don’t think she’s suffered; she’s a happy little thing.’
Nadia watched Gus shuffle from Sybil’s lap but stay close to her side on the sofa. ‘How long have you been doing this?’
‘Close to four years.’
‘Have you had many children here in that time?’
‘You’d be surprised how many. Some stay a while; some stay no time at all. Gus here has been with me for two months.’
‘It must be hard work.’
‘Hard work but I love it.’ Sybil smiled down at Lena. ‘I’m glad whoever left this little one abandoned her at the airbase, somewhere there were medical staff present. Any news of her mother or whoever else might have been responsible?’
‘We’ve heard nothing. But the television appeal will air regularly and the newspapers have coverage, as do social media channels. Hopefully, we’ll get a lead somewhere along the line.’ But if they didn’t, what would happen to Lena long term? Nadia had swayed from thinking the mother didn’t deserve this beautiful child if she could give her away to telling herself that the mother probably hadn’t had much of a choice. There was every chance she had done something drastic because she wasn’t in her right mind.
‘May I offer you a cup of tea?’ Sybil pushed Gus’s plate upwards so it was level when he almost lost the remaining toast fingers by letting it tilt.
‘I don’t want to be any trouble.’
‘It’s no trouble at all, honestly.’ She noticed Nadia watching Lena. ‘She’s doing well, don’t worry about her; she’s in safe hands now.’
‘It could’ve easily gone very badly.’ Nadia struggled as her imagination began to paint a very different scenario with Lena left in a park or at a bus stop or somewhere she may not have been given the care she needed straight away. Her train of thought kept askingwhat if?‘The front door to the airbase was locked the day we found her. We don’t always hear someone when they come; sometimes, we’re occupied out the back. It wasn’t a given that anyone would check the doorway… If I’dclocked off early, The Skylarks may have headed out on a job and the baby would’ve been inside that box for hours.’
Sybil smiled kindly. ‘It doesn’t bear thinking about the what ifs.’ She seemed well-practised with knowing the right thing to say and how to calm a person down; maybe it came with the job, with meeting people from all walks of life, some of whom would have struggles that might seem insurmountable.
Nadia gazed down at Lena; she couldn’t take her eyes off her.
‘You can hold her if you like.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course, bring her into the kitchen and I’ll make us that cup of tea.’
Gus took another look at Nadia before he darted over to one of the boxes by the wall in the playroom and began sifting through what looked to be farmyard animals.
‘Careful where you tread,’ Sybil warned as she walked away and sure enough, the animals came out one by one, some launching further than others. She must have eyes in the back of her head.
Nadia undid the strap of the bouncer and very carefully picked Lena up. ‘Hello, you.’ When she cradled her against her body, it felt familiar, that rush of endorphins that came with being so close to a baby. The action encompassed all of her emotions: the loss, the regret and what might have been, the hope. As she rubbed Lena’s back, the little one able to see over her shoulder, it was difficult not to feel a bond when Lena’s breath fell softly against her neck. Nadia almost didn’t want to go into the kitchen; she could stay here forever, not doing anything other than holding the baby.
Gus had everything out on the floor and carefully, Nadia stepped over the toys and went to join Sybil.
Over a cup of tea consumed carefully and out of Lena’s way, Sybil wanted to know more about the air ambulance and TheSkylarks and Nadia was happy enough to talk about the job for which she had such a passion.
