She finally got it, why he was so angry about the hoax they’d been victim to.
‘That’s also why I said what I did when we first met,’ he told her.
She thought back to the words that scored her conscience that night at her father’s house, his reaction, her defensiveness.
‘Before Cassie died, I would’ve attended the job at your family home, I would’ve seen that our attention wasn’t needed, no big deal.’
‘I get it, Noah. You don’t need to explain.’
‘Doesn’t make it right.’
‘No, but it lets me understand you.’ It felt like an intimate thing to say and she wondered whether he was thinking the same thing. She’d never got involved with anyone in the workplace. She’d been with Conrad for so long and after that, she hadn’t been interested in anything other than forging her own path away from her ex-husband and making sure Isaac was happy.
‘Why can’t I get my shit together, Maya?’ The way he added her name to the end of his question indicated he saw her as a friend and for that she was grateful.
‘It’s only been five months. You’ll never get over losing your sister. But with time, the grief can get a little bit easier to manage day by day.’
‘You sound like you’re talking from experience.’
‘My mum died when I was eleven. And it took years to process it. I’m in my forties now and on some days, I’m still not sure I’ve fully come to terms with it.’
‘What happened to her?’
‘She fell at home, hit her head and we all thought she was fine. It was days later that she collapsed and died from a brain bleed nobody knew she had.’
‘And that’s why you were so quick to call when your sister was hurt.’ He shook his head, berating himself some more about his reaction and words that night at her father’s house.
‘I panicked, I made the call. You’d think I’d be more used to dealing with an emergency given the job I do. I think I’ll always wonder whether I could’ve done something different with Mum. Dad probably wonders it too. She had some dizziness after the fall, some confusion but she claimed it was tiredness. She mentioned a headache on and off, but knowing Mum, the pain was worse than she made out, the frequency more than she admitted. She never liked to make a fuss. She was always so strong.’
‘Like someone else I can think of,’ he said softly. His words and his tone gave her the same fluttery feeling in her tummy she got when he looked at her for longer than necessary. ‘Don’t you talk to your dad about it now?’
‘No. Dad and I don’t have much of a relationship these days. And we don’t see eye to eye about a lot of things. Especially when it comes to my job.’
‘I’d have thought he was proud of you.’
‘He never wants to know about it, and that’s been the case the whole time I’ve been flying helicopters.’
‘I’m sorry, Maya. That must be tough.’
‘Sometimes it really is.’ It was as though he saw parts of her she didn’t always reveal.
‘How is your sister now?’
She smiled. ‘Disgustingly happy with her new husband.’
Noah laughed despite the melancholy, despite the topics of conversation. ‘Good for her.’ He looked at his watch. ‘I should get going. My nanny needs her break given she’s coming back this evening. I think she feels sorry for me – she told me to head out for a run after work, grab some time for myself, so right now, at the end of shift, I mustn’t dilly-dally – her words, not mine.’
Maya picked up her bag. ‘I mustn’t dilly-dally either,’ she teased.
‘Exciting plans this evening?’
‘Not particularly. I said I’d drop in on Conrad, see how he’s doing.’
They left the locker room together and Noah asked, ‘How’s his recovery?’
‘Frustratingly slow.’ For him and for her.
Maya waved to Nadia, who was deep in conversation with pilot Vik. She thanked Noah for holding the front door to the airbase building open for her to go out first.
