‘Why do people do it, Maya? Where’s the thrill?’
Whoever had made that call had probably been watching from somewhere nearby to see their little joke played out when a helicopter landed and the critical care paramedics rushed over.
‘I wish I’d stayed back to find the little sh?—’
‘I’m glad you didn’t,’ Maya interrupted. ‘You might have got yourself in a lot of trouble.’ He was fuming; she could see it in his eyes. But more than that, he looked devastated.
‘There were no identifying marks or labels on the hi-vis either.’ Noah’s fists tensed against the tops of his knees. ‘Fucking time wasters. I’d like to catch whoever did it and?—’
‘Do not finish that sentence. Whoever it was isn’t worth you doing something terrible yourself, losing your job.’
He stood up, paced the locker room as though his anger had begun to simmer and then all of a sudden, it was on the boil again.
Maya decided to give him some space to process. ‘I’ll be in the kitchen cutting some cake, making the coffee. I know it won’t fix things, but…’
‘I’ll give it a miss, thanks.’
‘Well, you know where we are if you want to talk.’
Maya joined Bess in the kitchen and rustled up mugs of coffee. The sun streamed through the window as if the weather earlier had never happened at all. And as they ate their cake, drank their coffee, Maya thought about all the ways this job could get to you.
But she had to wonder whether there was more to it for Noah.
16
Geraldine saw to Eva while Noah got ready for Paul’s visit. He wanted this to go well; he wasn’t sure why he felt the need to impress, but he did. He wanted Paul to know that he was taking care of Eva – he might not be much good at it, but he’d kept his niece safe thus far. He wondered how Paul was feeling – nervous about meeting his daughter after all this time? Scared about coming face to face with Noah because of what he’d done to Cassie by walking out on her?
Noah opened up the packet of biscuits and put some on a plate as per Geraldine’s suggestion when he was to host a guest. He’d never done this before. Usually, it was a few beers, perhaps wine, takeaway if ever he had guests back at his apartment in London.
‘Tell me I’m doing the right thing, Geraldine.’
A kind smile formed. ‘Only you can know that, Noah.’ She had Eva in her arms, letting the little girl tug at her hair with fingers Noah was pretty sure were still sticky from her breakfast. ‘Now let me get this one cleaned up so she can meet Paul.’
‘Her dad,’ said Noah, stopping her from walking away. ‘And a much better one than I am.’
A weird look came over Geraldine’s face, perhaps because she wasn’t sure whether this was up for debate.
‘I’m a terrible dad,’ he went on, almost wanting her to agree so he’d know getting Paul to come here for Eva was what he should be doing.
‘Noah, do you think I was born able to be a mother?’
‘Er… yes. You’re a natural.’
At that, she laughed. ‘I’m nothing of the sort! With my first son, I gave him a bath at the hospital in one of those funny sinks with the slanted angle fit for purpose. He slipped off my arm and under the water. I felt terrible. He was this loud bundle of limbs, unpredictable, I had no idea what to do with him. I was a bit better with baby number two and by the time I had my fourth, I’d say that yes, I was a natural. It just took years of practice.’
She whisked Eva away to clean her up a bit.
Noah was nervous, which didn’t happen very often. He’d been nervous before exams, nervous when he started his new job, but this was a whole different kind of nervous, accompanied by nausea in the pit of his stomach and clammy skin. He put it down to this being way bigger than any piece of paper he could put to his name or settling in with a new crowd.
He stared at his reflection in the mirror in the bathroom, at the lines on his face he forgot he had now he was in his mid-forties. Cassie hadn’t been lucky enough to reach the forty milestone. She’d forever be thirty-nine, the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful girl full of smiles and laughter in the photograph he had pinned to his fridge and in the picture frame in Eva’s bedroom.
When he emerged from the bathroom, Geraldine had changed Eva into a beautiful little polka-dot top with pale-green velvety trousers with flowers emblazoned on the pockets. He wondered if she shuffled around the floor long enough on her bottom whether the design would wear off.
Eva held her arms out for him when she spotted Noah and his breath caught in his throat. It was the first time that had happened.
Geraldine’s voice was laced with emotion when she told him, ‘She knows you.’
Eva settled in his arms, her body rested against his chest. He felt her little breaths against his chin, inhaled the scent of baby shampoo from hair that tickled the side of his face.
