She moved to where Leo was in the lounge, noting the upturned corner of the navy and cream rug when he pointed out the tripping hazard. The rug was worn enough that it made the lounge feel lived in, along with the oak coffee table with its slightly rough surface and the armchair and sofas, which both dipped in the middle from use. The log burner on the far wall was cosy when it roared into life after Leo added logs and kindling as well as a crumbled firelighter, the pictures on the walls dotted around spoke of his love for the local area and the sea, with a couple of the marina and another of the bay at sunset, a framed photograph of him and Adrian with their dad, arms around one another and their thumbs up. She spotted another photograph on the mantelpiece in a single frame, of Camille holding an enormous fish.
‘Camille fishes?’ She cupped her mug of cocoa in her palm as she walked around taking in the cabin she’d once been so familiar with.
‘She’s been a few times. Not lately, but when she did, she surprised us all with how patient she was.’
‘She doesn’t strike me as the patient type, she’s got too much get up and go.’
‘Maybe she uses fishing as a chance to recharge.’ He picked up his own mug of cocoa now the log burner was independently doing what it should. ‘Are you warm enough?’
‘A log burner, a chunky knit in summer, and a mug of cocoa.’ She smiled. ‘Yes, thank you, I’m plenty warm enough. You?’
‘Couldn’t be better.’
She sat on one side of the sofa, although the space between them was less than she thought because of the dip that drew them together. She adjusted herself and curled her legs beneath her, leaning against the corner.
‘I wonder if Jonah is tucked up in bed,’ said Leo.
‘I wonder if Adrian is still with them.’ And when she looked at Leo she smiled. ‘You love it that you have a nephew, don’t you?’
‘Uncle Leo. It has a good ring to it doesn’t it?’
‘It really does. And to have Maeve as a part of your family is a blessing, she really is lovely.’
‘You’ve grown close.’
‘We have. I mean I always liked her, but I lost touch with everyone over the years.’
‘She’s a good mum,’ Leo approved. ‘And as much as part of me can’t understand how she kept this from Adrian, the other part of me gets it. Things change. Even when you least expect.’ His body sagged back against the soft sofa.
Nina sipped her cocoa. ‘You didn’t really mean it did you? When you said you might leave the bay?’
‘You know I didn’t, I told you that.’
She chewed her lip for a second. ‘You did, but I get it, you’re the only one of us who never went away.’
‘Sometimes I thought about it back then but not for long,’ he admitted. ‘Mum and Dad handing me the business made it even harder to even think about upping and going somewhere. I sometimes wonder if they timed it that way on purpose, because it was my saviour. If I was angry I had water craft to haul around, if I was upset I’d take a kayak out, when I was lonely I had my customers. I’m not going anywhere, Nina.’
And then his posture changed. He sat forwards on theedge of the sofa and set down his mug before resting his arms on his thighs, palms clutched together above his knees. ‘You pushed me away after what happened, you never let me help. We were best friends since we were kids, we fell in love, we planned a future together. And you left. It’s almost like you were scared of being happy.’
Her eyes pricked with tears and she bit down on her bottom lip to stop any that might be in danger of escaping.
‘You think that because your parents didn’t know how to love you properly that you don’t deserve to be loved. Is that it?’ he pressed.
The words on the memory she’d pushed into the jar came back to haunt her as she remembered writing them, every letter inked with pain.‘Why don’t my parents love me?’
‘Leo …’ Her eyes pleaded with him, her voice shook.
‘It is, isn’t it?’
Her voice shook as the words tumbled out. ‘I worried all the time, worried that I wasn’t good enough, that something would happen to me or someone I loved. I needed to get myself sorted before I could ever let anyone else in. And then it became easier to stay away, to carry on the new life that I’d built. I pushed the bay away and it was the right thing to do at the time.
‘Your parents have a lot to answer for, Nina.’ His hands were clenched firmly together as though he was lost as to what to do or say. ‘They should’ve always loved you unconditionally and I’m not saying they didn’t or don’t, because I think they do in their own way, but they still haven’t been there for you in the way they should’ve been. Did you leave before I might hurt you in the same way?’
She couldn’t say a word. Because he was right,completely right, and she hadn’t even realised that was what she’d been doing until now.
His voice even softer he unclasped his hands and turned to reach out to her, his fingers below her chin until she looked at him. ‘Your parents never saw you for the person you are. But I did, I always have. And youaregood enough. You’re an amazing woman. You just need to let yourself believe it and trust in it.’
‘What did I ever do wrong as a daughter, Leo?’ Tears pooled in her eyes and he watched as they began to fall.
