‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘What?’ She seemed almost confused at the question, her head probably all over the place. But right now it was his head he was thinking about.
‘Why did you keep it from me for all this time? Who does that?’
She was crying again, trying to pull away from him and go in to her son. It felt cruel to keep her from him but that’s what she’d done to Adrian for eleven years wasn’t it?
‘Adrian, please …’
‘Did you think I’d deny he was mine? Think I’d walk away?’
‘I didn’t know!’ she shrieked, mostly in frustration he knew. ‘I didn’t know what you’d do. I’d already left the country, we had one night together Adrian, and I’d started to make a new life. I heard you were a mess, I was as well. Then I heard you were married.’
He was about to demand more answers when shewent weak in his arms, the fight gone out of her. She was sobbing.
‘I need to see Jonah. Please, Adrian. Let me see my son.’
He let go of her and as she rushed inside he said quietly, ‘Our son.’
Adrian didn’t go in straight away, he wasn’t sure he could keep his emotions in check watching her fling her arms around Jonah, but when he did he accepted a change of t-shirt and a pair of dry shorts from Steve, changing them out back for privacy, and then took a seat near the entrance on the windowseat.
As Jonah, a towel wrapped around his bottom half and wearing a jumper so big it dwarfed his skinny frame, enjoyed the attention and made his frightening experience sound more of an adventure, with details of wind, rain, how he’d managed to swim from post to post beneath the pier, Maeve settled on the windowseat next to Adrian. Her eyes were red, raw, she looked as though she hadn’t slept for days.
They each had a mug of coffee to which Arthur had insisted he add a splash of whisky for the shock.
‘So he knows nothing about me,’ said Adrian, unable to take his eyes off his son who every now and then looked up and met his gaze as they shared in their conspiracy of tonight.
‘Adrian, I—’
‘I still can’t believe it.’
She bit down on her bottom lip as though scared of how he’d react to anything she said right now. ‘That’s what we fought about,’ she admitted. ‘You. His father. The not knowing, it’s why he took off. ’
‘Didn’t you think I had the right to know?’ He lookedat her now, the softness of her skin, the eyes he’d looked into in the most intimate moments that had resulted in a son he never knew about.
‘Like I said, I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was in Canada. I left the bay pretty quickly after what happened – I mean Mum and Dad were already in the throes of emigrating, so it wasn’t too hard to jump on board. At first I honestly thought it was stress making me feel unwell. It was only when it had gone on for so long that I went to a doctor that I found out I was pregnant.’
‘But it was so many years.’
‘If I could take it back, Adrian, I would.’
‘How could you let him spend time at the boathouse, with Leo, knowing the truth? Didn’t you think he might work it out?’
‘That was unintentional. I never thought Jonah would go off on his own adventure. But he did, he found Leo and the boathouse.’ She managed a tiny smile, and he couldn’t be angry at that, it was so beautiful, and it came from a place of love for her son. ‘Coming back here I knew I was going to find you and tell you, all of you, your whole family. I’m ashamed I didn’t do it before, that I was so much of a coward and protecting myself so valiantly that I couldn’t see past my own needs.’ Her eyes pleaded with him to hear her truth. ‘When I heard you were back it was only a matter of time before I told Jonah and you everything. But as you and I saw one another more I started to get scared.’
‘That I’d be angry?’
‘That, yes, but also that you’d never want to be near me again. I had little doubt you’d want Jonah, but awoman who lied?’ She shook her head. ‘I couldn’t see that happening.’
He had no idea what to say. He felt as though his emotions had finally unravelled, coming back here only to be churned up with her revelations.
‘I thought Leo would pick up on him being a Magowan for sure,’ said Maeve, looking over at her son. ‘He might look like me, but he’s got so much of you in him, Adrian.’
He felt his eyes filling with tears.
‘I’m so very, very sorry it has taken me so long to tell you the truth.’
He nodded.
