‘Come on Nina, get a grip,’ she said to herself, starting work in the kitchen. If she didn’t get on and stop daydreaming she’d never get this place ready. There was a lot to do and she was only at the basic cleaning stage right now. The vision, the transformation, the fun part would have to wait. And so would the memories.
For now it was old-fashioned hard work. She sloshed the cloth with plenty of water onto the benchtop and beganto scrub at any stubborn marks. She’d shivered when she first arrived and opened the window but it wasn’t long before she’d worked up a bit of a sweat as she scrubbed and wiped each and every surface, the window sill, the top of the extractor fan above the cooktop, around the kitchen window. She braved opening the oven door and pulled a face at the distinct pong of grease and neglect. It saddened her that this cabin hadn’t been a part of the family’s life, at least not properly, in such a long time. And she blamed herself partly for that because she’d run away from here, the place that was once her escape, her hideaway from her mum and dad who had behaved like part-time parents who had eventually been unable to even tolerate one another. Both of them were self-absorbed, but Walt and Elsie had more than made up for their shortcomings. And it was those memories of being here with her grandparents that Nina would always hold close to her heart even though she’d never ever felt good enough, especially not good enough to find a happy ever after of her own.
Nina had a rest from wiping down and took out a pad of paper and pen from her bag to make some notes as thoughts popped into her head. The first note she made was that the veranda was too dark and it needed lighting as well as a seating area. It wasn’t all that spacious but she could find something small to make it inviting and welcoming, perhaps a bistro table and a couple of chairs, somewhere the new owners might be able to enjoy a glass of wine in the evening.
In the kitchen she made a note of the repairs required. Three of the cupboard doors needed new handles as the current ones were chipped, and in one case not there at all. The hinges were off on the end cupboard too and oneof the doors had dropped. She had a quick search online using her phone and found that new cookers weren’t all that expensive, so added that in as a requirement. It wasn’t just that she didn’t want to clean the oven, it was more that it was old and it needed bringing up to date so it would go with the revamped cabin once she’d finished. She didn’t want anything to put buyers off, and if she was going to do this place up she might as well make sure everything was done properly. The alternative was to sell the cabin as it was, but she and Grandad had immediately decided against that. They’d be wasting money doing it that way and Walt deserved to get a good price if he was going to part with something so meaningful to the O’Brien family. Nina had just about got her head around someone else calling it theirs but she wouldn’t accept giving it away for less than it was really worth.
Nina looked up at the wall where the old clock had once been between two mounted cabinets, all that remained now a faded circle.
With their father Graham in the forces, he and Christy, Walt and Elsie’s daughter, had made the decision early on that they wanted their children Nina and William to have a stable home. It could easily be mistaken as a sound parenting attitude, but unfortunately they’d taken it literally by having Nina and her brother remain in Salthaven with Stepping Stone Bay at their doorstep, stable in the physical sense. And with that they’d lost an emotional connection with their children that they’d never really got back. Nina wished Graham and Christy had been able to see that home wasn’t only a place, but a feeling, and as parents, it was their job to try to give their children both. Sometimes she’d felt as though she was asking too much.But Walt and Elsie had stepped in and become the parents both Nina and William needed. Christy would never admit she had several failures as a mother and Walt and Elsie never would’ve accused her of it either. And nowadays Nina looked back, and despite her sadness, knew she wouldn’t trade having Walt and Elsie in her life for anything, not even the two people who should’ve been there for her and William the most. Perhaps all along it had been the best thing, although Nina had always wondered why their parents hadn’t loved them enough to put them first, and it had made her doubt whether she was worthy of anyone’s love for a long time.
Nina blew out her cheeks. She’d known that being back here would bring all kinds of thoughts and self-doubts to the surface. She just hadn’t expected it to happen quite the way it was now, stopping her in her tracks every time her mind wandered at will.
Time to get on again. Nina had been a nurse for more than a decade, and if she kept stopping in her job the way she was doing today she’d be fired quicker than she could say Stepping Stone Bay. Her days at work were usually filled with rushing here and there, always busy, regularly moving from one task to another, and it had been good for her. Coming here, she had time to think and reflect and she wasn’t sure it was helping her at all.
Her next task was to clean the window sills in the lounge area and all the surfaces, but first she pulled back the old sheets that covered the fabric furniture to inspect what she had to work with. With the sheets balled up and out of the way she felt a bit more warmth come to the cabin, a touch of homeliness as she put a hand to the same old sofas she remembered, except now they were coveredin navy blue rather than the pale blue they’d once been. On closer inspection however, the replacements had already succumbed to the sunshine, with faded patches on the arm of one sofa, the seat of the other slightly worn. She’d search for some more covers, sure she’d find something suitable, and they were still good sofas, no one side sagging more than the other. She’d also get a rug, this room needed it to give warmth. Right now it was too echoey despite its small proportions and she envisaged something like the original blue and white rectangular nautical shaggy rug covering the bare floorboards.
Nina pulled on her Marigolds again and with the bucket of water at her feet, wiped the shelf on the farthest wall in the lounge. She’d keep this shelf. Made of reclaimed driftwood, it stretched all the way along and was now dusty and empty. Once upon a time it had displayed the hand-painted seven dwarfs Nina and William had made from a kit their grandparents must’ve grabbed to alleviate their boredom one freezing February half-term when their dad Graham was away with work and their mother Christy was away in Spain for a wedding. Nina thought fondly of the memory of making the dwarfs using the specially provided moulds, waiting impatiently for them to dry, painting them in bright colours when they were finally done. The Magowan brothers had come over as they’d finished up and William had leapt up from the table denying he’d had anything to do with the activity, that it was all Nina, wanting to be as mature as Adrian who was the eldest out of all of them. But Leo had sat down and asked Nina if he could paint Grumpy’s hat, a nod in Adrian’s direction that had made Nina giggle at the implication his brother could be moody.
The dwarfs that had once sat on the shelf Nina had a hand against now had gone with William and his kids who, last time they were here, had made up a game using the figures, despite their fragility. William had cleared it with Nina first of course, but given the way she’d already detached herself from this place she’d had no qualms agreeing. Even now she was glad they’d gone to a good home, although she wondered how long they’d survive with Fliss and Perry.
Nina caught a waft of the sea flowing in from the open window and she went to stand next to the glass. She’d opened the curtains up fully, the green and cream material good enough to block out the light but in need of updating. From here she could see the boathouse she scurried past every time she came down here, and on a deep sigh she wondered, was he inside there now? Or was he out on the water?
Nina scrubbed the rest of the surfaces to within an inch of their lives and by the end her arms were aching more than she thought possible. Bucket of dirty water in hand she looked around the cabin at all her hard work. It was cleaner than it had probably been in years. It was ready for her to make the changes necessary to make this into a seaside treasure, one someone else could fall in love with. Satisfied with her progress and done for the day, she emptied out the filthy water and rinsed the bucket and cloths, leaving everything in the corner of the kitchen for the next stint.
Nina left the cabin and locked up behind her before trotting down the steps ready to scurry past the boathouse again. Except this time she didn’t get very far at all.
A voice boomed over at her from by the bin store. ‘What are you doing here, Nina?’
‘Leo.’ His name came out on a breath so soft her voice was barely audible.
He dropped what sounded like a couple of bottles into the recycling bin and closed the lid and then the top of the bin store he’d made back when he was a teenager. Both families had hated the look of their bins, and being good at turning his hand to DIY he’d offered to make something, and this was what he’d come up with, a wooden structure with a lid that hid all the bins inside and was easily accessible for taking the bins up to the main road on bin day.
‘I’m cleaning up the cabin,’ she said to him, this man she’d hurt so terribly when she left the bay behind and by default, him too, without so much as a phone call, never mind a better explanation. It was terrible leaving the way she did, she’d beaten herself up about it, but she’d also known that if she’d tried to explain how lost she was, how much she needed to get away, even if she’d called after the fact, he’d have done his utmost to talk her into staying. And it might well have worked, she was so in love with him and the promise of a future.
‘You’re back to stay?’ he asked gruffly.
She grappled with the right words and couldn’t find them. Instead she said, ‘We probably need to talk.’
He looked as though he was going to agree but instead he said, ‘Nothing to say.’ He looked across at the cabins as though he wanted to look anywhere but at her. ‘I didn’t think we were good enough for you any more, that’s why you left isn’t it? Why you went without a word, why you never looked back.’
It was like taking the cane to the palm of your hand with every blow. But each one deserved. ‘It wasn’t like that, Leo.’
‘No? So tell me how it was then.’
‘I hate what I did.’
‘And yet you did it anyway.’ He took a step closer as she did the same. As well as the dark hair that might one day go grey like his dad’s she could see the green eyes that had held hers captive plenty of times before. The eyes she’d looked into when she saidI love you, Leo,the eyes she’d never been able to imagine filled with sadness when she left because it hurt too much to think of the pain he’d be in at her departure.
Nina had never really talked about her leaving with anyone, not even her grandad, not her brother either. She’d locked her feelings away, lost herself in her job as a nurse and a whole new place to live away from here. ‘I can’t do this right now, Leo. I need to get back to Grandad.’
‘Of course.’ He fixed her with his stare, no sign of the flirty smile she remembered where it reached his eyes and told her his feelings without the need for extraneous words. ‘Do what you do best, Nina … leave.’ And with that he turned and marched back to the boathouse without so much as a backward glance.
Chapter Five
Leo
Seeing Nina yesterday after all this time had left Leo in something of a bad mood that had lasted the rest of the afternoon, the evening and overnight. And continuing on today, he’d burnt his mouth on his morning coffee, he’d stumbled over the piece of wood in the car parking area that he’d been meaning to chop up and use in his log burner for ages when he helped a customer secure his new kayak to his car, and he’d almost sold a penknife to a kid without checking for identification – and he definitely wasn’t old enough.
