‘What’s a worry jar?’
She hardly knew what to say. She was embarrassed. She was nine and she’d let him see how bad a swimmer she was when he glided through the water at twice her speed,he’d seen her cry when she fell over, which happened at least once every summer and usually left a big graze on her knee that took time to heel. He even knew she wet herself once when he’d made her laugh too hard. But she’d never told him her deepest thoughts.
‘I worry about things a lot,’ she shared eventually. ‘Grandma told me if I write down the worry and put it in the jar then I don’t have to think about it any more, not until the special worry time.’
He contemplated her explanation. ‘Does it work?’
Nina shrugged and flicked her long blonde plaits over her shoulders as she sat cross-legged opposite her best friend in the whole wide world.
Leo went over to the little table in her bedroom and tore off a piece of paper before locating a pen and wrote something.
‘What are you writing?’ she asked him.
‘A worry,’ he said as though it were obvious.
‘Are you going to put it in my jar?’
He folded the paper up and looked at her. ‘Am I allowed?’
She paused, but then unscrewed the jar and held it out to him.
‘When will worry time be?’ He still clutched the piece of paper.
‘It used to be once a day. But I don’t have it any more. I just write my worries and put them inside. It helps,’ she added and it seemed to do the trick because he dropped his piece of paper into the jar.
After that day Nina and Leo had used the jar, but swore to one another they wouldn’t look at what was inside without both of them being present, and gradually the jarhad been used less and less and then one day they’d decided the best place for worries was the bottom of the sea and so they’d got rid of it for good.
Nina finished her crumpets. She hadn’t thought about that jar in a long time. If she had it, she’d definitely have put a piece of paper or two inside about seeing Leo after so many years. Not only had she bumped into him and had the most awkward conversation ever, but she’d seen him on the beach with a woman and a young boy. Her grandad had never said he’d settled down but maybe he’d wanted to spare her more pain. And after twelve years she really shouldn’t expect anything different. She should be pleased for Leo, he’d always talked about a future with family in it, but given their history it wasn’t easy to accept now, even though she knew she should try.
Over at the pinboard Nina looked at more of the photographs and everything else pinned to this spot on the wall. ‘How many of these pieces of paper have been on here for years, Grandad?’
Walt chuckled. ‘Probably too many to count. I should have a clear-out, shouldn’t I?’
She peered at one long piece of paper. ‘You’ve got what has to be a receipt here that’s so faded all I can see is the name of the supermarket at the top.’ She plucked it off. ‘Permission to chuck?’
‘Go ahead.’
‘And here’s another, and another!’ She shook her head as she moved along from left to right retrieving useless pieces of paper. ‘Grandad, this is shocking.’
‘You’re here to sort the cabin, not this place.’
‘I can make myself useful though. Earn my keep.’
‘You’re better use at the cabin, the sooner it’s done, the sooner we can get it sold.’
The reality sunk in that little bit more with his eagerness. ‘Are you really sure about this, Grandad? I mean, are you really willing to part with it after all this time, given what it means to you, to the family?’
‘Nina, we’ve been through this. It’s the best way. It’s not used anywhere near as much as it should be and with your brother living in another country it’ll be used even less.’ She couldn’t disagree. He cleared his throat. ‘I want to be prepared, Nina. Me and your gran talked about this a lot, what would happen when only one of us was left.’
Nina could well imagine. If there was an award for being practical it would’ve gone to her grandma, who had a no-nonsense way of looking at things. When Christy left her children in their care so often and it seemed as though she had a new boyfriend every five minutes, Grandma Elsie hadn’t moaned about it, she hadn’t tried to change matters; she and Walt had carried on with Nina and William and injected as much happiness into life for them both as they could.
Grandad was right. It did make sense to sell the cabin when it wasn’t used much at all and when Walt could have the extra money to ensure he stayed right here in his bungalow. But Nina found she veered from being happy it was going and that the past would be the past, to wanting to cling on to it and keep it in the family the way they’d always talked about. Grandma Elsie may have wanted both her and Walt to live in the bungalow for the rest of their days and do whatever it took to make that happen, but Nina could also remember a time when her grandma had said it was a real shame Christy wasn’t interested inthe seaside cabin because it would always be special to all of them. As a young girl Nina had assured her gran that nobody would ever take the cabin from the O’Briens, she was adamant that one day she would take her own children there to play out their own adventures the way she had. But that had been when she was able to dream, when life didn’t seem to have any consequences, before she’d left the bay behind.
Nina moved along to the next space on the pinboard and found a couple of menus for restaurants that no longer existed in Salthaven or Stepping Stone Bay and when the doorbell went, Nina threw those into the recycling bin along with the old receipts. ‘I wonder who that could be.’
‘If we answer, we might find out.’ Walt barely looked up from his newspaper.
Nina went to answer the door and broke into a smile when she saw who it was. ‘Camille, it’s so wonderful to see you.’ She’d barely got her words out when Leo’s grandma wrapped her in an enormous hug and a pleasant amount of summery floral scent. Nina sensed Walt had left her to get the door on purpose.
