It takes all of two seconds for Holt to be standing in front of me.
“I was so fucking wrong, sweetheart,” he whispers.“I am so, so sorry.”
He’s standing so close to me that I can feel his energy rippling off his body. I shiver at the contact, wanting so badly to dive into his arms.
But I don’t. Because I don’t need to. I’m stronger than that.
“You could’ve called me about this,” I told him.“Your apology didn’t warrant an in-person exchange.”
He shrugs sheepishly. “I tried. You sent me to voicemail.”
“You could’ve left one.”
“I don’t really do voicemails. So much gets lost in the mix.”
“Well, I don’t really do men who think that they can just pop up inmy life when it’s convenient for them. So if you’ll excuse me.” I give him a pointed look and head down the sidewalk again.
It kills me to walk away. It’s like a knife in my heartless cavity. Each step is like the blade is getting dug deeper and deeper into my soul.
I walk to the edge of the block and stop beneath a tree in an oversized box planter. It provides a little shade from the sun and acts like a blocker from the throngs of people.
Everyone except Holt.
“Stop running from me,” Holt says, standing in front of me again.
I refuse to look at him.
“I know I fucked up,” he begins but stops when I fire him a hard glare.
I put a hand on my hip. “I know you fucked up. I know that I could’ve been the best thing to ever happen to you. But you are too busy for that. So please, leave me alone.”
His face falls. “I deserve all of that. And I’ll stand here and listen to you berate me until you’ve said everything you need to say.”
“I don’t need to say anything to you.”
“Good. Then listen.” He shifts his weight. “I’m sorry, Blaire. This whole thing is my fault—all of it. I pursued you. I spoke to Oliver about you. I walked out and didn’t come back.” His voice breaks. “I left you when you needed me, and that’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”
His face is riddled with pain. There are bags under his eyes, and his skin is pale.
I hate it. I hate that we have come to this.
“You hurt me,” I admit. “You broke my heart.”
“I know.”
“Do you know what it felt like to hear you tell Oliver that I required too much energy?”
His eyes light up. “That’s not what I said. That’s not what I meant.”
“Holt …”
“Hear me out.” He licks his lips. “I was telling him that you deserved so much more than I could give you. I didn’t know how … I didn’t know how to incorporate you into my life and guarantee you wouldn’t get hurt.”
“So you just hurt me outright instead? Genius move.”
“I didn’t know you were listening, or I would’ve been more careful.”
“But you walked out, and I was standing right in front of you.”
