“Yeah.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
It’s a lie. I’m not fine. But I don’t know what else to say. Do I admit I’m the fucking disaster I feel like I am? That won’t help anyone.
“Sometimes, it’s easier to pretend that you don’t care than to admit that you’re dying inside,” she says.
“That’s poetic.”
She sighs. “Well, I guess I see why Blaire left now.”
“Oh, do you?”
“Yes. You’re an asshole.”
“True enough.” I take a long drink before smacking my lips together. “Is that all you called for?”
“Sure. That’s it. Good luck recovering from this one.”
I lean against the counter and shake my head. “This will go away. I just need to put some time and distance between Blaire and me.”
“Sorry to break it to you, but real feelings don’t go away.”
“You’re on fire tonight with the inspirational bullshit.”
“Just here to help.”
“Well, you’re not.”
I walk to the window and look out at the pool. Blaire’s favorite chair sits empty. All that remains from her time sitting out there is a bright red hair elastic on the deck.
It takes everything I have not to go get it.
I turn away.I can’t look at it.
“Let me ask you something,” I say to my cousin. “What is love?”
She laughs.
“Forget it,” I say.
“No! No, no, no. I just didn’t expect that.”
“What did you expect?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that you were going to ask me why you should go get her? I was totally ready to convince you. I had a speech queued up and ready to go.”
I grin. “I’m not going after her.”
“May I ask why not?”
I down the rest of my drink before answering her.
“I don’t have the energy to fight at work and fight when I get home, Riss. I can’t afford to chase her down—especially when I have so much shit happening right now.”I set the glass on the counter. “And you know what? She needs someone who can spend the weekends walking around town with her and not feel guilty. She deservessomeone who can have a fucking conversation without their phone going off fourteen times. That someone is not me.”
“But you asked her to stay, right?”
