I pull back, only to drive in again harder. Setting a brutal rhythm, I fuck his mouth with ruthless precision, thrusting deep until his nose presses against my pelvis with every stroke. Tears stream from the corners of his eyes, but he doesn’t look away.
He watches me. Reads every twitch of muscle, every change in my breath. Like he’s memorizing me from the inside out.
When my balls tighten and that electric burn climbs up my spine, he reaches up and massages them just the way I like. The world blurs as I roar through my orgasm, spilling deep into his throat. Rope after rope coats it, claiming. He swallows it all, never flinching, never faltering.
When I finally pull back, spent and throbbing, he stays still. Always obedient. Mostly.
I tuck myself back into my jeans with shaky hands, then tug him to his feet and crash our mouths together again. He tastes like salt and devotion, and I kiss him like he’s mine. Because he is. Because I love him in ways that scare the hell out of me.
I palm the thick line of his erection through his pants, making him shudder.
“You’ll come when you earn it,” I growl.
To anyone else, he might look disappointed, but I see the glint in his eyes. The small flicker of satisfaction that only I know how to read.
He’s not upset.
He’s exactly where he wants to be.
∞∞∞
Back upstairs in the apartment, we run through the same routine.
We go over everything we’ve already tried and failed at. Then, we assess the operations still in motion. The few slim threads of hope we’re chasing. Finally, we brainstorm anything we haven’t tried yet. No idea is too wild at this point.
One thing’s certain: we’re going to find Lina or die trying.
Somewhere in the last eight years, Axel and I built a life. We carved out space in the world for ourselves, but something’s always been missing. Or more accurately, someone.
Axel joined me at the University of Tennessee, a semester late, after his mom’s death. Nothing changed between us, though. We picked up where we left off, except this time, we came out of the closet and made our relationship public. Our families weren’t surprised. Hell, Johnny always knew. We didn’t exactly keep it subtle. Apart from the occasional asshole stranger, most people are supportive.
We even tried, more than once, to find someone else to share that love with. It never worked. With one woman, she always preferred one of us over the other. With two, they’dcompete, manipulate, or wedge themselves between us. No matter what we attempted, it ended in disappointment. Ever since Lina, it’s been impossible to make anyone else fit.
I miss the feel of a woman’s curves. The way she softens in your hands and the way she grips you when she comes. I know Axel misses it too. He’s just as hungry, just as unsatisfied. We’re happy, but not whole. We both know it.
“Maybe we can flush her out of hiding,” Axel says, fingers idly tracing the muscles along my stomach.
I glance down at him, one hand brushing the soft buzz of hair at his temple. “How do you mean?”
His eyes flick up, thoughtful. “Maybe we’ve been doing this wrong. We’ve been searching, trying to find her, but what if she thinks we’re just some threat from her past trying to track her down? What if we gave her a reason to come to us instead?”
I pause, letting that sit. That sounds like Lina, the girl who always cared more about others than herself. If she thought someone she loved was in danger, she wouldn’t hesitate.
“It’s not a bad angle,” I admit. “But do you think she’d care enough about Johnny to come back?”
I know what happened between them now. I know how deep their connection ran, and how often it crashed and burned. I’m not sure if guilt or anger would win out.
“Maybe not Johnny,” he says slowly, “but there’s someone shewouldcome back for.”
“Who?” I ask, though I already have a sinking feeling I know.
“Ben.”
He’s right. If she thought Ben—her father, her protector, the man she only got to know for a handful of months—was in danger? She’d come running. No question.
Still… I waver.
“Ax,” I say carefully. “If we use him, if we manipulate her like that… she might come, yeah. But would she ever forgive us for it?”
