“Well, not exactly.” I hesitate, wanting so badly to tell her but stupidly thinking that if I don’t say anything it will magically go away. I also feel bad for not telling Denham about it yet. I will, just not today when he’s had enough to deal with already.
“Ari,” Lottie warns when I don’t continue.
“Hey, you girls keeping it all to yourselves or you gonna share with us starving people out here?” Spike calls from the lounge.
“Coming right up,” I call back, gathering the plates and deflecting Lottie’s impending interrogation.
“This conversation is not over, Arianna,” Lottie chastises. “You are not keeping it all to yourself this time.”
I smile sadly at her and nod. I know I have to tell someone. I want to tell her, to tell all the guys here. But I look around at their happy family, already marred by grief and bad luck, and I just don’t want to add to it. I’ve already brought Denham a whole heap of trouble to his door, and if I can deal with at least some of this on my own and stand tall on my own two feet, then I will.
We eat, chat, and laugh. Tara seems to look much better as the evening goes on and eats well, which I’m pleased about. She smiles in my direction several times, and I’m glad we have gotten off on the right foot, and that she doesn’t hate me for invading their lives. Lottie also looks in my direction often. She doesn’t smile so kindly though. She knows I’m not telling her something, and she looks at me with a mixture of pissed off and worried expressions. I know I should probably be more worried than I am about Jonny turning up, but really and truly, withall the protection Denham has for me, how can anything really awful happen to me? I’m stronger. I have an amazing amount of support. Jonny can only hurt me if I let him.
“Okay, whose drinks need topping up?” Lottie bounces up from her cross-legged position on the floor.
“Can you grab me a beer, babe? D- man, you want a beer?” Spike asks.
“Nah. Think I’m going to have me a scotch.”
“Ooh yes, I’ll have a scotch too,” Tara says, placing her plate on the low table and rubbing her hands together.
“No way, T,” Denham answers immediately. “She’ll have a soda, thanks, Lottie.”
“D! I am not a fucking teenager,” Tara grumbles, throwing her hands in the air to show her displeasure.
“No? Then stop fucking acting like one. When I see that you can act your age, I’ll treat you like an adult.” Denham sounds like a stern parent, and the look on his face tells her his decision is final.
She actually sits back and pouts, which doesn’t help her argument for being an adult. But I actually feel a little sorry for her. If she’s being honest in what she said about not doing anything last night, then she doesn’t deserve to be punished for a situation where she’s actually the victim.
“Right, well. We will leave you boys to your scotch. Tara, Lottie, and I have some girlie pampering to do,” I say, piling all the plates together and taking them into the kitchen. Denham follows and is soon wrapped around me from behind, nuzzling into my shoulder.
“I’ve missed you so damn much today,” he mumbles.
“I missed you too,” I reply, swallowing the lump in my throat that is carrying the events of today.
“I want everyone to leave. I want you to myself,” he says resting his chin on my shoulder and trailing his fingers lightly up and down my upper arm.
“Now who sounds like a teenager?” I laugh. “Are you pouting?”
“I may be.”
“Well don’t. You’ll have me in your bed tonight.”
“Is it time for bed yet?”
“No, I want to do girlie stuff with Lottie and your sister.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, turning me in his arms so our fronts are pressed together and we are facing.
“I texted Lottie to bring girl stuff. Face masks, foot scrub, truffles…I thought Tara could do with some cheering up.”
Denham takes a deep breath. “You’re so fucking special, do you know that?” It’s a rhetorical question, so I just answer with a smile. I’m not really anything special, I’m just very grateful to have found and to be accepted by such a wonderfully crazy family.
He cradles my head with his fingers wrapped around my nape, and pulls me into him so tightly thayt we can’t actually get any closer.
“Tomorrow night, they can all piss off. I want you to myself. I don’t want to share you with anyone.”
“You sound like a spoiled child.”
