“You look amazing as you are.” When I open my mouth to protest, he holds up a finger to my lips. “Do. Not. Argue.”
“I’m not going to argue, I promise.” I take a deep breath before continuing as I know he’s not going to like this. “Now that I’ve made a decision, I have to see Aaron before I can do anything. This is me taking control, okay? This is something I have to do to move forward…”
The air lingers between us before he answers. “Fine, but I’m coming too.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m fine to go on my own—”
“I’m coming,” he says firmly, leaving no room for arguments. “Let’s go.”
***
We hail a cab to the main hospital. It’s a short ride, but there is a tight silence as both of us look out of opposite windows, deep in thought but with our hands still joined and resting on my lap. I know Denham doesn’t want me to do this. He’s protective—not overbearing or obsessive, but he actually wants to look after me. I have to do this, though. I have to see Aaron and get some answers. Some kind of closure in that part of my life so that I can begin to move on.
The cab pulls up and Denham pays him before exiting and taking my hand a little tighter than he did before, I’m not sure if it’s a gesture of reassurance for me or him.
He strides to the main desk and commands attention from one of the nurses there. “I’m looking for an Aaron Jamesson,” he asks sharply.
The nurse puts on a friendly face and answers confidently, “And who might you be, sir?”
Denham pauses for a moment and I take the opportunity to step in and answer. “I’m Aaron’s wife,” I say, dropping Denham’s hand and placing both hands on the desk. Denham narrows his eyes at me and I can see that he’s not happy about it—at all. I stare pointedly at him, imploring him not to make a fuss here. I know that being Aaron’s wife will get me in to see him and that’s the only reason I did it. Holding someone else’s hand while professing to be married to someone else would not have been convincing. I don’t miss the nurse glance toward my ring finger where, of course, she finds no wedding ring.
“If you’ll just give me a minute.” She taps on the keyboard in front of her. “I’m sorry, but it appears that Mr. Jamesson checked out early this morning. That’s all I can disclose.” She smiles a public service smile before going back to her work.
I’m disappointed. Not because I really wanted to see him, I wasn’t looking forward to it in the slightest, but I feel lighter having made the decision to come here and face him. I feel stronger for taking control and doing something about my situation. Now, it’s out of my hands and all I can do now is look forward.
I turn to leave and take Denham’s hand. Both of us go to speak, but neither of us knows what to say, so we leave the hospital and walk for a while, swinging our joined hands and letting the air clear, letting our thoughts become more rational before either of us speaks.
Denham breaks the silence. “I’m sorry he wasn’t there,” he says unconvincingly.
“No, you’re not,” I say with a smile.
“No, you’re right…kind of.” He smiles back at me. “I didn’t want you to see him, but I knew you wanted to, so I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted.”
“I just wanted to straighten things out. Explain everything to him.”
“You don’t owe him anything,” Denham says protectively.
“I owe him an explanation. I’m not who he thought I was. No matter what he’s done, I should at least explain that to him. I’m also worried that he’s in some kind of trouble. He’s not a bad person, and though I never really loved him, I care that he’s ok.”
“Well, he’s a big boy, I’m sure he can deal with his own shit.” His jaw is set hard, and he’s looking everywhere but at me.
“Hey, stop that,” I scold, swatting at his upper arm playfully. “Stop acting like a child who doesn’t want to give up his toys.”
“You’re not a toy,” he grumbles. “And I most certainly will not give you up.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You’re being cute again.”
“I’m going to ban you from saying that word,” he grumbles.
“You’re sweet.” I stop on the sidewalk and wrap myself around him.
He strokes my hair. “Try again…”
“Funny?”
“Hmmm …”
“Sexy?”
