"I doubt we will reach the summit before dark," Morek said. "We've lost a lot of time, and we are going slow."
"I think we can make it," Alar said. "Assuming that we keep up the same pace from now on."
That was a lot to assume.
Assuming we maintained this pace.
Assuming that there were no more avalanches.
Assuming that the mountain's appetite for lives had been satisfied for the day.
The mountain had many ways of testing us. Some tests required courage, while others demanded endurance. But perhaps the most challenging test was continuing after watching people die.
39
ALAR
"The Circle of Fate Reveals What the Heart Already Knows."
—Elucian Proverb
Ididn't like being relegated to the middle, and I'd offered to switch places with Codric when we'd stopped to rest for a few minutes, but he'd refused. If not for the damn hallucinations, which were only getting worse, I would have offered Shovia to trade places, but I still had enough presence of mind not to allow my pride to endanger our quintet. Shovia was still the least affected of us by the altitude or hunger, and she led us with surprising steadiness, keeping a good pace.
If there was one thing I had learned on this pilgrimage, it was the importance of humility. I wasn't invincible, and everything I knew, all the skills I'd honed, were useless when my bodywas working against me, and no amount of sheer will could counteract the effects this mountain had on me.
I felt weak, useless, and completely at the mercy of nature and its magnificent beasts. Becoming a rider was the only way to overcome these human limitations. By bonding with a dragon, I could siphon some of its resilience, but that wasn't up to me either. It was up to Elu or rather his more merciful face, Elurion.
I wasn't devout, and I didn't even know any prayers, but I beseeched Elurion to grant me my wish in plain words. I wasn't seeking fame or glory, and I needed the prolonged life the bond offered to save my people from the disaster they were blindly heading toward, but doubts gnawed at me almost as badly as the hunger.
Who did I think I was to assume that I could change the course of history?
Right now, all I could do was put one foot in front of the other and hope that it met solid ground. "Just keep moving," I muttered to myself, the words coming out as wisps of fog in the thin air.
We'd been pushing hard since dawn, trying to make up for time lost during the blizzard the day before.
A shadow passed overhead, and I fought the urge to look up because I didn't know whether it was real. Dragons had been appearing with increasing frequency as we neared the summit, their massive forms gliding through aurora-streaked skies, but I didn't trust my senses, and I didn't know whether what I was seeing was real or a hallucination.
"You see them too, right?" Kailin's voice drifted from in front of me. "The dragons?"
"Yes," I said. "I wasn't sure they were real either."
Some of the more fantastical visions had been easier to recognize for what they were the second day of the pilgrimage,but today the lack of food and oxygen was taking its toll on my mind, and I was no longer sure about anything.
We walked along a ridge that dropped away sharply on both sides, and as loose stones skittered beneath my boots, I heard Kailin's labored breathing, and I worried about her.
This section must be incredibly difficult for her. Was she closing her eyes and letting the rope guide her? Or was she keeping her eyes glued to Shovia's back?
I focused on planting each step firmly before shifting my weight. The rope between us grew taut as Morek stumbled.
"Careful." I reached out with my hand to steady him despite the way my own vision swam. "Watch your footing."
"Says the man who's been weaving like a drunk for the past hour," Codric said, his attempt at humor barely masking his strain.
I tried to straighten my posture, to project the confidence my cousin had come to expect from me, but the effort only made my head spin faster. Thankfully, the path had a rock face to our right again, but the problem was that it rippled like water so that it might be a hallucination, and we could still be on the narrow ridge with a drop on each side. For a moment, I could have sworn I saw figures moving within the stone, ancient warriors holding spears and marching to some distant battle.
"What are you looking at, Alar?" Codric asked.
Realizing that I had slowed down and was gaping at the rocks, I shook my head. "Just more illusions."
