Life rarely waited for perfect preparation, and death waited for nothing at all.
23
ALAR
"A commander's strength is his troop's shield, his composure their courage."
—Commander Brusdick Gorlin, Elite Forces' Vedona Academy
Ahand shook my shoulder, dragging me from uneasy dreams filled with the smells of funeral pyres and echoes of heart-wrenching sobbing.
"Rise and shine, cousin." Codric's voice was unnaturally cheerful against the backdrop of my dreams and the pounding headache from lack of sleep. "I got you tea and a sandwich."
Did the guy ever think about anything other than food and women?
"Come on, Alar. Up you go." He set a steaming cup on the chipped chest of drawers wedged between our narrow beds.
"I have a headache." I turned on my side, facing the wall and hoping for a few more moments of shuteye.
"That's what the tea is for. I brewed it from the sachets Kailin's gran gave us. It's supposed to be a cure-all."
That got my attention, and as I sat up, I got a good look at my cousin, who didn't look as chirpy as he sounded. His usual easy smile didn't reach his eyes, and there were dark circles under them.
"Did you sleep at all?" I asked as I reached for the tea.
"My stomach was giving me trouble." He patted his midsection. "I spent what was left of the night on the toilet."
His stomach should have been fine after all the healing tea Kailin's grandma had made him drink. Besides, if he were still suffering, he wouldn't be thinking of food first thing in the morning.
I took a sip of the tea, letting its warmth spread through me. "Was it your stomach or the funeral pyres that didn't sit well with you?"
He scoffed at me. "Don't be dramatic, Alar. I've seen death before."
We both had, but this was different. This had been premeditated murder on a grand scale. The plan had been to kill as many Elucians as possible—pilgrims, their families, and most importantly, the shaman.
"Not like this." I set the cup down. "Not a hate crime perpetrated for no other reason than a twisted religion seeking to annihilate all who don't follow its vile death-god."
His shoulders tensed. "What difference does it make? Dead is dead. People die all the time." He forced a smile. "That's why we want to become dragon riders, right? To become immortal."
I snorted. "They should change the definition to not aging and not prone to disease. Immortal is misleading." I swung my legs over the side of the bed. "Dragon riders rarely get to enjoy their so-called immortality."
Codric nodded sagely. "If we get in, we will find a solution for that. Better armor, better harnesses, and whatever else that can help preserve the lives of the riders."
"We can do that even if we don't get in." I finished the last of my tea. "In fact, I should have thought of that sooner. If we come up with something like that, it could be a great way to foster more cooperation between the Elucian and Elurian forces."
Codric shook his head. "I don't know how you do it."
"Do what?" I stood up.
"Stay so unaffected even in the face of catastrophe. I mean, it's good because you don't lose your head and you do what needs to be done, but I wish I could be as cold."
I frowned at him. "I might not wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I'm affected."
He turned to face me. "I watched you last night, holding Kailin's hand while regarding the flames with that same calculating expression you wear when analyzing reports."
I thought he knew me better. Codric and I had grown up together, and he'd seen me at my best and my worst. I couldn't believe he thought that I was cold.
"I was raised to maintain composure in public. You know that. But don't mistake stoicism for lack of feeling."
