KAILIN
"The greatest power often reveals itself in moments of greatest weakness."
—Shaman Saphir Fatewever
Each step up the stone staircase felt like scaling Mount Hope all over again, but without the benefit of a full night's sleep. My legs burned, my lungs protested, and my head throbbed with each heartbeat. Had I not been leaning heavily on Alar's arm, I likely would have ended up sitting down on one of those stairs and waiting until they sent a couple of medics for me with a stretcher.
"We can take another break if you want," Alar said, his voice gentle as he supported more of my weight. "The shaman will understand if you're a few minutes late."
I shook my head, immediately regretting the motion as it sent another wave of dizziness washing over me. "No, I just want this to be over so I can sit in a chair and faint."
He chuckled, tightening his grip around my waist. "It won't be much of a meeting if you sleep through it."
When Alar and Shovia had woken me with the summons from Saphir, I'd barely been able to drag myself from bed. The dreams or visions or whatever they had been had left me completely drained. Even now, after showering and eating a hearty breakfast, my limbs felt like they were filled with lead.
"I still don't understand why Saphir didn't just come to you," Alar muttered. "He must know what state you're in."
"How would he? I bet nothing like that has ever happened to him."
Alar stopped the climb, letting me catch my breath. "Did he tell you that?"
I hesitated. "After last night, everyone knows my secret, and you can guess what all those meetings were about, but until Saphir tells me what I can and cannot say, I'd rather not remark on what he shared with me."
"I get it." Alar propelled me up another step. "He told me some things that I'm not allowed to tell anyone either."
"I hate secrets," I murmured. "They feel like lies."
"Perhaps the shaman couldn't leave the command center," Alar suggested. "The riders are not back yet, so I assume things are still chaotic in Podana."
"The Shedun have been dealt with," I said. "But the riders are still dealing with the aftermath."
I knew there were casualties, but I hadn't asked Onyx for details. Once he'd told me that things were under control and I could rest, I fell into a dreamless, healing sleep. If not for the shaman's summons, I would have probably slept until tomorrow.
What I had done should have been impossible.
It made no sense. Yet here I was, climbing these stairs to report to Saphir and try to explain the unexplainable. I had no clue what to tell him except for the fact that I felt depleted as if I'd fought in the battle myself.
"I hope it never happens like this again," I whispered. "I mean, unless there is another emergency, and I need to warn everyone. If things like this keep happening to me, I'm not sure I will survive it."
If I were already bonded to a dragon, the immortality would have protected me, but there was a limit to what my body and mind could withstand while I was still human.
"Elu forbid." Alar leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "Do you know what triggered the dream?"
"No clue. I must have sensed something and tuned in."
Alar nodded. "Shovia told me that you had a bad feeling before the Shedun attacked your village. Maybe you've always had this ability within you."
I'd forgotten about that. So many details from that night were hazy in my memory, and if not for my journal entry from right before the attack, I wouldn't have remembered feeling uneasy mere hours earlier. Perhaps Alar was right, and I'd always had the ability to sense the thoughts and feelings of birds and animals, and when they got nervous, I felt it too.
Finally, we reached the landing of the twelfth floor, and I leaned against the wall to catch my breath and regain some semblance of composure before facing the shaman. Alar stood close, his hand still on my waist, his eyes scanning my face with worry.
I was so immensely grateful that he had offered to accompany me even though he hadn't been summoned, and not just because I needed his strong body to lean on. I needed the man I loved to lend me his inner strength as well.
"Thank you for doing this for me," I said.
"No need to thank me. I would never have let you make this climb alone in your condition. I'll wait outside the shaman's office and help you back down when you're done."
"You're a lifesaver." I squeezed his hand.
