I hesitated. "Even if it's possible, it's too early for that. I don't want to overwhelm Kailin."
"Yeah," he sighed. "You are probably right."
70
KAILIN
When he looked at me, I saw a man who'd brave hail and storm just to keep my fire lit.
—From the journal of Kailin Strom
Ireturned from the bathroom to find Shovia already in our room, pulling on her training uniform.
"I didn't see you in the bathroom," I said as I walked in.
"You were in the shower." She turned around and sat on her bed with a knowing smirk. "I didn't want to have this conversation in public, so I kept my burning questions bottled up and waited for you to come back."
"What questions?" I pretended innocence just to tease her.
I wasn't going to tell her any of the details even if she nagged me to death, but after five years of friendship, I owed her at least the highlights.
She rolled her eyes. "Don't play coy. Spill. I'm dying here."
I sat on the bed beside her and leaned back, bracing myself on my forearms. "You know the thing you were nagging me forever about? It's finally done."
Shovia's eyes widened, and she let out a small squeal before clapping her hands and then grabbing me for a fierce hug. "Congratulations." She let go of me and leaned back, narrowing her eyes. "Given the glow and the silly smile, I assume that Alar did right by you?"
"Very much so. It was... incredible." I knew I had a dreamy expression on my face and didn't care if Shovia made fun of me because of it.
"Details, girl." Shovia motioned with her hand. "All of it. How did it start, who started it, how did it progress, was there blood, and most importantly, how many times did you orgasm?"
I laughed. "I started, he took over, it was perfect, we both climaxed twice, and surprisingly, there was no blood. That's all you are going to get as far as details."
Thankfully, we didn't have much time left before we needed to head out to the training grounds, so Shovia couldn't use her interrogation tactics on me for long, pressing me for more details by using emotional extortion.
She frowned. "Are you sure you were a virgin? I mean, I know that you didn't have sex before, but there are other ways a girl can lose her virginity."
"I'm positive that I didn't lose it by accident before last night."
Her expression turned incredulous. "And it didn't hurt?"
"Of course, it did, but Alar was so careful with me that the pain didn't last long. I even climaxed again. But that's not the best part."
"There is more?"
"He told me he loved me. Several times, actually. And I told him I loved him too. Well, I said it first, but I have no doubt that Alar was sincere when he told me he loved me back."
Shovia's expression softened, and I thought I saw a sheen of tears in her eyes. "Wow. That's amazing, Kailin. I'm so happy for you." She squeezed my hand. "When did you know? That you loved him, I mean."
I considered this, trying to pinpoint the exact moment. "I'm not sure there was one specific time. I was attracted to Alar from the first moment I saw him, and then we talked, and I was taken with him, and the feelings grew during the pilgrimage. But it feels like it has always been there, that something inside of me has been waiting for him to show up and for me to recognize him." I looked up at her. "Does that sound crazy?"
Shovia put her hand over her chest. "This is so romantic, and I don't think it's crazy at all. Some people spend their whole lives looking for a connection like that, and some find it right away." Her smile turned teasing again. "I bet you never expected to hear me say stuff like that."
I laughed. "You are right, I didn't. You were always about the perfect for now guy and not the forever guy."
She sighed. "That's because I haven't found him yet. I hope I will one day."
I bit my lip, uncertain about how I should broach the idea of us switching rooms permanently. I'd thought about that after Alar had left and I'd missed him right away, but now that I'd had some time to cool off, I wasn't sure that I was ready for that. Despite the love and the intimacy, we were still just getting to know each other. But perhaps Shovia wanted to move inwith Codric, and if she did, I didn't want to hold back their relationship.
