It was difficult to answer the question without revealing the things Saphir had asked me to keep private. But did the prohibition include Commander Ravel?
The riders must know about the shaman's various abilities, and they too were probably sworn to secrecy.
"Ravel knows,"Onyx said."All the riders learn about Shaman Saphir's abilities after they bond with their dragons. I'm surprised that he told you, though. The protocol is to keep the Citadel's secrets from cadets until they are bonded."
That made sense. The dragons would know if the rider was up to no good after the bond solidified. The bond also meant that the rider wasn't going anywhere.
"I can communicate with Moki, which Saphir said was extraordinary. He thinks that I'm only starting to manifest my potential and that I'm going to be able to do much more. He just didn't say what. He did mention that I might have what it takes to become a shaman." I closed my eyes for a moment, and words spilled out of me unbidden. "That's so absurd, though. I wouldbe a terrible shaman. I don't have the theatrical personality needed for that. I'm not a leader."
For a long moment, neither Commander Ravel nor Onyx responded, and I took it to mean that they agreed with me. I'd hoped they would argue and tell me that I was magnificent, but that was not going to happen unless they decided to speak falsehoods.
"There are different styles of leadership," Ravel finally said. "You don't have to be like Saphir. You can develop your own style. I'm not a historian, but I'm sure there have been many examples of successful leaders who were subtle and yet inspirational nonetheless."
I doubted anything I did would inspire people. I had a small voice, I got nervous when speaking in front of a crowd, and I often used the wrong words or said the wrong things when anxious.
I wasn't smooth.
"You should practice blocking,"Onyx said.
Ever the pragmatist, he apparently felt that now was the time to focus on another weakness of mine. At least this one should be easier to overcome.
"Try to shield specific thoughts from Onyx," Ravel suggested, sounding relieved by the shift in the conversation. "It's an extension of the barrier exercise you've been practicing, but more selective. Like closing a single door in a house while leaving the windows or other doors open."
I concentrated, visualizing a series of doors in my mind, each representing different thoughts or memories. I deliberatelyclosedthe door on the chamber containing my memories of kissing Alar while keeping the mental channel with Onyx open.
"Can you see what I'm hiding?"I asked.
Onyx was quiet for a moment, his consciousness probing gently at the edges of my mind."There is a space I cannot access, but I can sense its outline. You're getting better at this."
"Thank you."I sat a little straighter.
"You are most welcome. Next, you should practice concealing the fact that you're hiding anything."
"One step at a time," Ravel said. "First, you need to solidify your control over compartmentalization. Later, you can try to hide that you are doing that."
"I disagree,"Onyx said."It's better to learn proper form from the get-go than having to relearn it later."
"He has a point." I turned to look at Ravel over my shoulder.
We practiced for a while longer, with Onyx testing my mental barriers and offering suggestions for strengthening them. It was exhausting—a mental fatigue that left me drained but also satisfied because I felt like I was getting better at it.
"That's enough for today," Ravel finally said. "We should head back."
I was grateful. My head had begun to ache, and I was finding it increasingly difficult to maintain my focus.
It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't actually know the exact timeline for the next step in our training. "By the way, when will I get to bond with a dragon?"
"You will be introduced to the available dragons after you complete basic training," Ravel said. "Approximately three months from now, assuming you pass all the evaluations, which I know you will. A few pair up right away, but most go through a period of a sort of courtship, and some even change partners. It's not an automatic selection or connection." He chuckled. "It's as important to find a compatible dragon as it is to find a life mate. Probably more so since your very life depends on your dragon while only your life quality depends on your spouse."
Dylon hadn't said a thing about it being a process, but perhaps that was a secret as well.
"It is,"Onyx said in my head."I will miss you when you have your own dragon, my Little Warrior."
"And I you."It was three months away, but I already felt a pang of sorrow.
"You can visit me,"Onyx said."There is another upside to bonding. You will be helping care for hatchlings."
That caught me off guard, and the thought filled me with delight."That's wonderful. I bet they are adorable."
