Only the best for Alar.
"Don't worry about her," Neera said, misreading my expression. "She flirts with all the guys. It's just a power play and doesn't mean she's interested. She just enjoys all of them drooling after her."
That wasn't much of a comfort. I didn't want Alar drooling after anyone but me.
Forcing my attention back to my food, I was determined to enjoy my meal and not obsess over what was going on in Alar's head, and whether he was flirting with Vessa to get back at me or was truly interested in her.
"So, what's the training like?" Shovia asked, skillfully changing the subject. "They told us it's intense, but what does it actually mean?"
"Forget about sleeping for the first month," Neera said bluntly. "Physical conditioning starts before dawn, theory classes all morning, practical application all afternoon, then study groups or solo cramming until lights out. Some nights you'll be so exhausted you'll fall asleep at your desk."
"But it's worth it," the guy sitting next to Neera added quickly. "We get to be riders and form a unique bond with the most magnificent creatures in the world."
The passion in his voice was genuine, and since I experienced a taste of the bond with Onyx, I wondered what a full bond would feel like. The conversation with Ravel's bonded dragon hadn't felt any different than any other I had except that it had taken place inside my mind, but the connection I felt to Onyx and to his rider was undeniable.
As my eyes drifted to Alar once more, I heard the guy who'd said it was worth it introducing himself as Davin and then naming the other cadets who had arrived before us.
Tarren, who was brilliant with languages but hopeless in physical combat. The twins, Rula and Rylon, who finished each other's sentences. Helsa, who was more brawn than brains.
Alar must have felt my gaze and lifted his eyes, stunning me with the clear anger in his expression. It made me flinch, and I quickly averted my gaze.
"Don't take it too seriously," Shovia murmured in my ear. "It's just wounded pride. Men are simple creatures. Bruise their ego, and they turn into sulking infants."
I turned to her. "Did you see how he looked at me?"
She sighed. "Sweet, naive Kailin. Do yourself a favor and stop thinking of him as a man and think of him as a toddler. Things will become much clearer then."
I had no idea what she meant by that, but then I knew as much about toddlers as I knew about men, which wasn't much, and Shovia knew a lot about both.
"But I didn't do anything," I protested. "He has no right."
"He thinks he does," Shovia said. "Because of what happened in the cave."
"I hate you," I muttered, but there was no heat in it.
"You adore me," she corrected. "Just talk to him, and if that doesn't help, slap him and tell him to snap out of it."
I didn't know if she meant for me to slap Alar literally or metaphorically, and I didn't ask in case she meant the former. I wasn't about to do that.
When I caught him glancing my way again, his expression had changed to something unreadable, but the twist in my stomach didn't loosen.
In fact, it tightened.
Not that it was going to deter me from having a talk with the stupid man about making presumptions based on mere impressions.
Whatever was happening with Ravel and the strange connection I was experiencing with him didn't change what had grown between Alar and me during the pilgrimage.
I wasn't going to let him throw it all away because of petty jealousy.
49
ALAR
"Truth is like a blade, necessary but sometimes dangerous."
—Commander Brusdick Gorlin, Elite Forces' Vedona Academy
"Istill can't believe that all five of us made it," Morek said between mouthfuls. "What are the odds?"
